Hi! Happy weekend.. It’s been 5 months since 2021 begins its mission! In about 7 months, 2022 will take its turn. Here I am wanting to accomplish more this year.
While 2020 had been the most blissful year ever, 2021 does not hesitate to bless me more with good food, good people around, mentors, colleagues and of course good leaders, BTS and Army’s positivity. I am just so blessed.
Well, I like how BTS played in their latest run BTS show. I like how food became their driving force. It’s quite effective for me too. I realized that the only time I can force myself to go out is food.
If you have seen Kungfu 🐼, you knew how his master trained him with food as a prize. Because we are designed with a survival thought in mind, when it comes to food we’ll do almost everything. Panda’s normal ability to split just came out because of his motivation to get the food at the top shelve.
When I go out to places, I have food in mind and that’s what makes me keep going. It’s the truth that I just discovered myself too. It’s so obvious that we missed to acknowledge this. Also because it is very normal and very easy like super natural. It’s within us by default.
I realized how food affected me so much when I had that encounter with someone who’s been so greedy with food. I felt so sad and so angry that I have to do everything just to come out from that house. Any other house than that with him. My mother didn’t care how I felt that time, she just care about her own selfish desires.
While it was the most challenging time of of my life, a newly graduate from college and doesn’t know anything about the outside world other than school, books, sleeping and eating, my daily life became so hard adjusting from so many different personality traits of the people around me.
School has been home for almost 20 years minus 6, and my classmates became my family. Going to different direction without them made me feel so scared of the outside world. It’s a whole new world and I wasn’t just prepared. I wasn’t ready to come out from school yet, but I graduated so early.
When I was at school my friends and I will eat together, we’re the happiest. But after school, I had to stay home and work most of my life after my 20’s, I became the loneliest. I am no longer eating happily. I eat alone even at work.
My mother never cooked, she choose to keep herself busy at work and chatting with men, and she made me feel so guilty for not helping her. She would always say that “She would find someone to help her” making me all so helpless and useless to her.
No one likes what she want to happen, it’s not good for me, if you know what I mean. There are mother’s who just want their rules to be followed, and I am the one who kept on breaking it.
She’s probably really angry at me that time that she always fake me as if I am using her. I overheard her saying that “Someone is a user” and I was the only one around, the only one she’s been feeding, hoping that she’ll have me follow her footsteps which won’t happen. I’d give back her kindness and her financial support, on my own way.
I’ve met good mother’s in this world, I saw how they take care of their children. I saw how my classmates were being loved by them, praised like a real daughter and son; made me feel so angry at myself, why on earth we have a mother that’s not treating us the right way.
Often, she would say and her only reason, “Because we’re not rich”. But those people I saw weren’t even rich. I mean they’re just like us, they’ve got money too, we had ours, she just always think it’s not enough and we’re still poor.
What makes someone poor is not how little your money is, it is how ungrateful a man is with the little things they have. And what makes people rich? Is when they’re so happy and overjoyed happiness with the little progress they have made since they started. Like a 🧲 it attracts more of it.
Having that poor mindset, stopped you from becoming your best self. You are not going to do better because poor mindset keeps you sad, feeling unworthy and feeling oppressed. You’ll always feel like a victim in all areas of your life no matter what you’re doing, and you’ll never be good enough. It drives away all the good people who cares about you and made them suffer by staying by your side.
FOR ME, I’ve had enough sufferings, I had to decide to come out and just be myself, to not care too much about what poor people think of me. I’ll eat a lot and buy all the food I like. Like the song goes, “let them think I am rich” soon I’ll become even more successful with a little faith in my grateful heart.
Since I started using that, I became happy and inspired everyday. Writing really helped me remember so many golden thoughts I had in mind. The only reason why I decided to apply for a job last year, it’s because I want to eat korean foods. It’s expensive and I wanted to treat a friend who’s always sharing with me her food while I wasn’t earning bigger.
“With the healthy food I ate I shall become.”