“When self-doubt comes in, just keep moving forward.”
Part of my preparations to climb the highest mountain in the Philippines (Mt. Apo) is to practice walking solo with a bit of a trail run. I did it in the mountains of Cebu such as the “Starbaks,” “RCPI,” “Barcramps,” “6 Towers,” and the “Kang Irag Trail.”
I did it first with someone I met as a first time camping joiner (since I am a solo camper by choice.) He showed me the way and healed the scared part of me, then I started walking solo. I had to because my success in Mt. Apo depends on it. Some of trails in Mt. Apo looked familiar, only that it’s the biggest version of my training ground.
The weirdest feeling is that Mt. Apo Trail looked like Mt. Everest or maybe it’s just my eyes, and maybe the major difference would be the “Cold” temperature, the ice instead of the mud; and if I have to choose, I will be choosing the “Green,” the “Muds,” and slightly cold temperature. But I will definitely pursue Mt. Fuji, it’s just my dream destination.
On my solo trainings, I tried many different ways, like starting from the opposite direction to the other, did the traverse, 3 days and 2 nights, did 2 days and one night. I did all of it and the advises I’ve had from the good Samaritan I’ve met. “Oh he’s cute by the way and I kinda liked him. Uwu!”
During those trainings, I’ve had emotional experiences too, aside from the adrenaline that really excites me to finish the goal and be home safe. Some of those feelings are: doubts, wanting to go back, getting lost, etc. All of those feelings were gone soon as I decided to keep going, it doesn’t matter if I get lost, if I lost my mind, if I get crazy, I just need to keep going and see the end to it; if I reached the dead end somehow, I’ll return back to where I came from, no need to worry, just don’t stop, keep going!
Before I would go on training, I always feel exciting, worried and scared at the same time but I did not let it freeze me. I kept going and I focused on my goal, “To get the mission done and to be home safe.” The next time I noticed, I’ve already accomplished those mission. So if you ever felt tired, just breathe, relax and keep on pushing, remember why you started and what is your main goal.
On my first attempt to Mt. Apo, I had to do it myself, booked a schedule, booked my flights, booked my hotels, bought my gears, etc. I was so scared that the organizer will cancel because no other joiners registered yet. I had to really ran ads just to look for joiners, and nobody joined. The organizer called me instead and referred me to the other organizer with 2 days and 1 night schedule. Luckily, it was not cancelled, I was redirected. Price dropped, sched changed, perfect team, I had so much fun! So if you feel alone right now, don’t worry, just trust the process, you will be redirected.
There is no stress in trekking and camping that’s why I love it but my main issue now is dealing with stress instead of avoiding it. Let me know how you guys handle stress. It’s hard for me and my response is quite scary because it will appear offensive to others.
Climbing, Rocks! 