Turn

Turn it on, turn it on.
I am turning it on.
Are you on?

I will turn.
I will return.
I will train.
I will retrain.
I will sit and relax.

I will turn bullying into balance.
I will turn cousins into camera.
I will shift my thoughts from husband to hands.
From family to friends.
From relatives to resume.

I will turn my childhood cravings of my cousins acceptance, approval, and appreciation into camera and authenticity.
I will turn angging into angel.
I will redirect my focus to my camera.
I will look at the other lifted side, instead of just focusing on just the other side.

I must focus on friends side than my father side.
I must focus on my fun side instead of my family side.
I must focus on forgiving side, instead of frustrated side.
I must become assertive instead of asking and feeling needy and naked.
I must become forgiving instead of forbidding.

I must focus on the mirror figure instead of my mother figure.
I must focus on major instead of the minors.
Major for major.
I will chase stepping backward instead of forward to keep myself relaxed.
I will let them chase after me instead of me chasing after them.
I will not run away, I will entertain them like a fan. I will share with them my lessons as they approach me.

I turn around instead of chasing them forward.
I will wait for them to come to me instead of me running after them.
I will be a fan and a star at the same time.
When I needed a signature I am a fan.
But when I am entertaining, I am accepting, I became a star.

I will not run away, I will let them see me.
I will relax and let them see the real me.
I want to be a star, a beautiful shining star.
I want to entertain someone to be my friend.
If I needed something from them, that’s when I become a fan.
If I needed a friend, I will just become a fan.

Published by Roselyn

Hi! I'm Roselyn! The first and only daughter of my father. He's a farmer and I am so proud of him for raising me and accepting me as his own. I believe that Broken families are meant to be broken for good. As a product, I always feel in-secured about family coz I think I don't have one and I am left alone; but the truth is, I still have them, they just went separate ways and I just have to accept that and move on. It's my only insecurity, I have no place to call my home coz my parents doesn't have one. They're broken after all. I'm going to make a family and it will start with me.

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