Letter to Money

We were listening to that video of a tarot reader and she suggested that we write a letter to you.

She sensed that we had a little bit of issues regarding money and she’s kind of true.

So let’s start right now.

I wanted to earn more of you because I have to fund a dream of mine. It’s something very dear to me.

You are very helpful to me since I started using you to buy food, clothes and other stuffs that helps improve my well being.

But I was very ashamed of where I got you from. Someone sponsored me but she kept getting angry every time I ask money from her before, unless of course if it’s school related projects.

But personally, I never really enjoyed you. I wanted to buy good food, something I really liked but I feel so bad I couldn’t, I feel like someone’s going to tell me I am wasting money.

Until now, I can still hear them, but I’m not going to let them destroy my cravings. I will buy every food I like that I can afford because I deserve it. It’s the only way I am happy to have you.

I am so sorry that I blamed you for being laughed by a family member of being happy receiving you, that I feel so bad about having you, but now I will be happy no matter what they say because you have helped me in so many ways.

Right now, I am slowly paying them for the amount I received from them. It was never easy accepting you from them because I know they’re gossiping about where I got you, even if they’re the one giving it.

They looked at me as if I am stealing you from them, just because they’re forced to give you to me. Their eyes were bloody as hell, I cursed them everyday because I am trying to protect you or maybe I was cursing you because I was trying to protect them. But I guess it isn’t good that I feel bitter about any of you.

I know you’re just an instrument, you’re innocent, but the giver sound so angry he calls me “Nawg Kwarta” which I do not know how to translate in English. It sounds like Face Money, but it isn’t.

Now that I tried translating that into English, I realized something. It actually sounds cool. Yes, I will Face Money. I am not scared of you anymore because I know this isn’t you. You’re not going to bite me, curse me nor belittle me, it’s them who did it.

I feel bad every time I choose you over them. Oh well, you’re better than them, why would I choose them anyway. They’re assholes who likes gossiping about me having you, receiving you from anywhere.

I will accept you no matter what they say about me. Even if they’ll call me names, a money hooker or whatever, but I am still going to accept you because you deserved to be accepted. Who am I to say no to you, specially if I have worked for it.

I guess if you can talk, you will feel good and feel loved for being accepted. I will make sure that I will invest you wisely to stuffs that worth your price. I will let go of fear of what they’ll think of me because they think you’re ugly and bad, but I know you’re not. It’s the beholder who is.

I am sorry if I made you feel unacceptable because I am afraid of my families judgment about me being happy with you. They put me to shame for being happy having you and I am so angry of myself because of that.

Right now, I am going to fight for my happiness no matter what they think of me. I thought I was protecting you but I was actually protecting them because I don’t trust your value. But now that I see what you can do to me and those people who have once bullied me for being happy having you, I feel so determined to actually have you and take Care of you.

I wonder how would it felt like eating good food and trying new things, traveling with you and recording those good memories so that I will forever be grateful I have you in my life. I felt sorry I made you feel lonely and unaccepted even if you choose me.

I will make sure to give back to them with gratitude and make you appear good because you came from me and I got you clean out from my skills, knowledge and expertise.

Since I do not know how to translate that bad word in English, I’ll just transform it into a good one.. I will become a face with money. Or.. My face is lighter like money. My face attracts money. Or. My face is thin like money. My face is like paper money not a plastic one.

Oh well, what else, maybe I have a face of good money. Why would I be scared of being called like that.. Money is new, money is clean. Money is newly printed from the bank. Money I made of natural resources. Money is valuable. So if I have a face of a money, then maybe my face is valuable. Haha char.

Anyways, they just don’t have you, like how they cannot have me, so they they label you badly instead, now they can’t really have me, nor you. Again, thank you for being such a good instrument for making me live a better life everyday. I was able to pay my debts slowly because I have you. I am healthy because I have you. I feel clean because I can buy sanitizers because I have you.

So, money, I thank you. Forgive me if I thought you’re dirty, just because a lot of hands have touched you. I have men touching me too, I guess we’re really alike, but that doesn’t make me dirty, I showered anyway. You can be reprinted too. I can replace you with someone new. I’ll just return you to the bank and they’ll give me a new you. Clean, never been touched, never been kissed. Hahahaha.

Published by irose

Hi! I'm Roselyn! Username: irose PayPal www.paypal.me/RoselynMina I'm a dreamer, bound to face all my fears, traumas, etc. I have been through shit, running away from my bliss. But I guess, I've had enough that I want to just be myself. *My mother dreamt of something great; I think I am doing it, this time!⛄

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