Last week, I learned so much about the things that I really need to work on.
It was a really good training, it was exhausting on my part due to many changes that happened in my system. I changed from being a person who doesn’t care about my grammar, pronunciation; and most importantly, my sentence construction.
Believe it or not, I grew up a little. I have developed assurance and empathy which gave me more confidence. Now I have to control my voice in order not to sound brutal to my listener.
But, before that; I felt like an idiot and until now I’m still wondering why I was given the chance to join the team. Maybe because I can do it? Or maybe because they see something in me. All I know is that, I was happy during the interview. It felt great to be there. I have finally conquered my fear of speaking up.
Now I’m still wondering, why am I still being allowed to take on the next class. Maybe because I can follow instructions? Or maybe because they see something in me that I can if I chose to. I think everything is really up to me.
If I messed up, I think it’s because I was being my old self; if I’ve changed, it’s because I decided to grow up and change. I still feel stressed due to this rapid change that’s currently happening; and sometimes, I feel like “I’m not good enough” but why did they let me pass?
Remember this when you feel like an idiot:
- Change – apply the new ways even if it’s hard.
- Do the right thing – it’s really hard to unlearn something old, but you’re safe now because you’re now in the new environment.
- Let go and trust your new journey
If you feel like an idiot, then change and be your best self. Be a light to those who weren’t able to see their worth. Remember that you’ve come so far. You have accomplished a lot. Keep going! Keep learning.