Let’s play, “Now, I have” to end year 2023 full of gratitude

Now I have seen 42 shooting stars; In the past I barely see one.

Now I have travelled more than two places alone; in the past, I barely travel to one.

Now I have trust in my guts; in the past, I thought it will bring me shame because it’s related to pooping.

Now I am giving my gut feeling a chance to guide me; before I’m stopping everything my gut feeling would suggest.

Now I have a sense of gratitude, with courage and positive attitude; in the past, I complain a lot and not seeing how beautiful the sun and stars were when it’s shining, even if it’s too far from me.

Now I have seen the beauty of flowers, how authentic and fragile they are; how it needs love and care in order to bloom; in the past, I didn’t even notice their different colors because of dissatisfaction.

Now I am content and not begging too much attention, I enjoy silence and a few real people around; in the past, I care too much about people’s craziness and trying to entertain them or be with them, and for what? It was a time wasted.

Now I’m doing things I really wanted to do in the future money is not an issue and if there is a chance and a time to do it. I am doing things that makes me happy NOW, instead of delaying my happiness causing sadness, etc. In the past, I used to have so many reasons to cover up my fear of being happy, because I was surrounded by people who weren’t happy of their life choices and blame others, make up blames and reasons, to cover up their mistakes- they don’t want to accept that they are wrong.

“Accept that you’re wrong and take responsibility of your own mistakes, that’s how you’re going to correct things and move on completely, guilt free.”

Now I have the courage to let go of those who aren’t real to me, I deserve authentic people, happy and open for change. Sometimes, you just have to choose the right people and right environment that will nurture your positive vibes and conquer negativities together; in the past, I stick to them because I didn’t know what to do next and have not decided my next step yet; but now I’m ready to decide for the best.

Now I have chosen the people who’s with me when I needed them the most, than those who act helpful when they’re not needed (a nuisance, an attention seeker) who made you feel helpless (intentionally, just to make you appear needing them and they’re helpful even if they’re not.

Now I have chosen to let go of those who have chosen others over me instead of impressing them and expecting something in return; I accept that it’s not going to happen and I moved on; in the past, I would fight and always ended up wrong for fighting. I realized now that “I deserve someone better.”

Sometimes, all you have is a better, better, better, better, that can help you show your best self ever! If you think you’re doing your best and they’re still against you with that tone? That’s a cue, you’re right, you just deserve someone better. But if the tone is relaxed while you’re being corrected, then admit it, you’re wrong.

Now I have chosen the right people to help with, those who really need help than those who just act helpless just to get attention; instead of neglecting those who appear strong, because most of the time, they are the ones who really needed real help. It’s okay, to ask for help, if you can’t handle it anymore.

“Honesty will save you; shame won’t.”

Now I have the courage to admit anything that will put me to shame, and then do things right, this time. In the past, I’d rather hide than be put to shame, it doesn’t mean I’m denying it, I am just not reacting to it, because it’s true; and in the past, I hate making things right, it takes a lot of courage and sense of responsibility.

Now I can buy the things I really really wanted, because I chose to and I worked hard just to get it! In the past, I will only accept little, ask little, ask only what they can give: and got disappointed in the end, because I am either working hard for it and get less, or I’m not working hard for it, it was others who worked so hard for it and I got it for free.

Now I thank those who said NO to me, because I did it myself and earned all the credits. If you really believe in something and you don’t get others approval or support, do it yourself still; enjoy the journey! Most of the time, it will become a success and you’ll be thankful for simply just going and seeing what’s in there waiting for you; giving them the chance to show their best.

Now I enjoyed feeling the pain and enduring it, because nobody died feeling the pain; a lot died because they’re suppressing the pain with whatsoever which causes death. So it’s not the pain, it’s how you kept on stopping it instead of feeling it.

So, how about you! Time to reflect your NOW versus the PAST. Share if you want.