Walking with friends, acquaintances and family last month was a awesome! Who would have thought I will be meeting those people on trail, and who would have thought I will be travelling with my brother which I used to piggyback when we’re young. He’s now taller than me and doesn’t need carrying. It’s been a long time since I took responsibility of being a sister.
Life had been so busy with school, career, love, etc. I have totally forgotten that I have a family that though broken, still deserve my attention. We may not get along so well due to differences both experiences and beliefs but they still deserve my attention. The void felt may have been the void I have given them or triggered them to feel voided, cancelled and unchosen.
Regardless, I still have lots of chances to do what I wished they have done into me. So it is true, “Do unto others, what you want others do unto you.” I finally understood the meaning of it. In the past, I thought that the quote means to be conditional, to expect something in return; so I didn’t do it, I thought it’s pathetic and will only cause disappointment. It’s true, you will be disappointed if your mindset is to be “Conditional.” Think of it “Unconditionally”, it felt so rewarding.
Now, I found the real meaning of that quote. It means, doing it to satisfy you & expecting nothing in return. “What you give, is what you shall receive.” “What you sow is what you shall reap.” Not in the physical but in emotional level. Becoming the person you want to meet will make you attract such people, it’s called attraction.
Love your brothers and sisters is a virtue that I did not once acknowledge in the past, I thought it will make them less, spoiled and ineffective, so I became greedy and it destroys my sense of purpose. Now that I’m an adult and had a choice to do or not do, doing felt great and awesome, I finally felt like “I actually have a family, I just have to choose to be their family, a good one.”
Maybe family is about choosing each other still despite the odds. Supporting each other’s goals regardless of its differences, instead of dragging them into becoming like you or forcing yourself to be like them. Family was like the “Husband and Wife with their son, In Davao” I’ve met in Davao last January.
The father supports his sons different wants & he’s so proud of that, it’s not what they wanted him to be but they ended up letting him be, and now he’s successful in his ways. Supporting doesn’t mean becoming like them, maybe cheering them up and hoping they’ll be successful.
I’m still wondering and learning how to experience the family I want with the people at hand. Maybe I can rewrite the stars and do it right. Maybe I’m capable of becoming the version of them that I want them to be. My “Ego” says “No, it’s their responsibility to be this that and that…” But hey, “I’m not a child anymore, that would have been valid in the past, but not anymore now. I cannot blame it on them forever, specially that I already have the ability to do it now.
Climbing, Rocks! 