Waiting woman (if it resonated, please comment please)

It seems like we haven’t met, but sometimes I feel like we have been together somewhere before.

Which one is fake which one is real.

I’m really confused between us, like it’s so crazy, it made me feel crazy.

Which one should I believe, that old friend I was talking to or that new friend I have recently met.

It’s fucking crazy. The other one seems real, the other one looks like another me talking.

Was he my old self, or was he my new self.

He could travel back and forth from my mind to being real.

But I also met someone who doesn’t knew me. Which one is which for me.

Maybe I was in a dream, that’s why I didn’t knew him.

He released me from that dream, but he gave me that weird feeling.

I’m still weighing what I am thinking.

Surely I will go to someone I knew was new, but is he still new until now?

Or maybe he’ll become another new man.

He told me we can still be friends, I guess we can still be.

After I’ve met the one that is meant for me.

I have a friend or a what. Oh, that man I’ve met was the man I have seen.

In my mind, he seemed so real.

I supposed he’s a new friend, should I befriend him.

No need to get to know, just going with the flow will do.

He offered me something, a new life, new adventure, new world and a new me.

Now it’s up to me if I’ll go that way.

But I think I’m on my way.

I remember now, he was the same guy. He was real. He gave me a new me.

For sure he’s seeing other woman. But how come it looks like he’s seeing me.

I feel like he’s talking with another woman, but I feel weird because it looks like he’s talking to me.

How many is me? Am I real or am I from the past. Am I living life or am I living someone elses life.

He said up to me, my choice.

Wait, is there someone I didn’t see.

Maybe he sees the real me from this me who isn’t me.

Someone who doesn’t knew the real me. This innerchild within me.

Sometimes I got confused between the baby me and the new me.

My mind cannot see the differences in me.

The past seems looks like real even if it’s no longer.

If I will not look around, I cannot tell the truth between past, present, and future.

So who am I? A nobody who doesn’t exist? An old water, a reflection of some who sees me?

Am I special or am I superficial.

Maybe a fantasy with no destiny.

A story that isn’t meant to be.

Forbidden by the man I’m being with.

Am I slave or a what. Somebody seems to not belong.

Maybe a snake who doesn’t deserve.

I must love myself if that’s what they think I am.

Maybe I am empty waiting for someone to notice me.

But how weird is this thing, am I nothing?

Maybe he’s nothing and dying.

Maybe he’s a home without anything.

Would he be something if I would be his everything?

He told me he’s nothing, but I won’t believe. He told me to keep my heart open for someone new to come.

Am I a forbidden tree without anything but a snake and a fruit that doesn’t taste anything.

He was with me all this time. Quitely helping me.

He appeared in my dream I knew it was him. I want another dream.

I have been dreaming of him awhile ago, it stopped when I finally let go.

But his love never stops, he never left me.

I know he loves me very much.

I know he cares about me so much.

But he just can’t do anything.

It made him feel like he’s nothing, because he can’t do something.

He wants to be real. He wants to be kind. But I don’t want him to be because I knew if I will, he might marry me.

But this time, I might have to allow him.

I think I have allowed him already.

We have so much conflicts. So much misunderstanding.

We’re just getting to know each other.

Back then I felt crazy about me.

I was emotionally stress, unable to release.

I needed rest, I have to rest.

Now I’m back to my normal life.

Something cool, I feel like a fool.

I have neighbors, I have someone I knew.

A brother is here, he came all the way from our place.

We were also in misunderstanding, I guess there is something wrong with me.

Maybe I was just acting ugly even if I am pretty.

Maybe I was just acting like baby because I am lonely.

I’n in pain, I knew I am in pain.

My first love broke my heart, I was replaced with someone better.

I have accepted that going further, now I don’t want it any longer.

I want a new life, I want a new start.

Soon after this quarantine period is over. I will be going out with my friends again.

They will be there. I will be there. In that place there’s no restrictions.

No rules to follow. No more feeling restricted.

I came out of my last job, I don’t want to be in trouble.

I feel like I deserve something better.

I feel like I am going to be terminated, if I won’t come out and surrender myself to those who are in need.

Maybe this is my soul’s intention. To submit, to serve and to be served.

I was loved back there. I knew I was. But nobody gives me food, I had to return back to my friend.

She’s my mother, but she’s no longer with us, she’s with herself.

We must learn to grow without them tomorrow.

We must learn to share like we have been shared before.

It’s time to provide. It’s time to give.

I am doing it. I am trying to do it.

I’m an adult now. I am trying to be.

My friend if you’re watching, please know you’re loved.

I thank you for waking me up. That confusion really screwed me up.

But as I keep on moving, it slowly goes away.

I hope you’re okay.

Please don’t hesitate to call me, once you’re ready.

Published by Pinky Rose

Hi My Name is Roselyn and I am a Graduate in Business Administration Major in Management Accounting. I wanted to pursue a degree related to Property Management. I saw Commerce as something new to me. The Mother side of the family have Nurses and I want to become a Doctor in Psychology. They're soldiers too! I applied for PAF but wasn't allowed to take the exam because of my Myopia. The father side are into Politics and Farming, I could have taken Political Science or Agriculture, but my choice goes to Accountancy because it sounds so cool and it has a board exam (a requirement to be a Scholar). There are also teachers on my father side. My father is a good farmer, I love his plants. I hope I can offer him something very important. He stopped schooling, he choose to help his parents at the farm instead. My Mother was emotional and stopped schooling too. Later on, she had me then my brother; until she became emotional again and stopped being our mother. Me? I am always blessed and loved by the Universe and the Earthlings, they saw my potential and eagerness to learn new things. I choose to stay and share my knowledge. I wanted to become someone with a different attitude towards life; I'd rather not give than give out of pity; so if I'll give you something, it means you deserve it, not out of bias; I also want to be treated the same, win or lose I'll feel better, as long as it is righteous. Losing/failing will help me change and do the right thing. I am also into writing because I have plenty of ideas. I hope to earn a PHD; research papers are quite interesting; I will really have fun! I am into dancing, just for fun; Dancing is so funny specially if you can't get the steps then getting it right after, it doesn't bore. Singing is my natural born talent but I'm just kidding, maybe not šŸ˜ƒ just manifesting it. I have a book at Amazon KDP : https://amazon.com/roselynmina; written mostly to thank those who have helped me grow spiritually. I finished my Caregiving Training from Feb 2019 to Jan 2020; then became a certified career since 2021. I am working on my personal business, to pursue my passion with a purpose to help the world heal emotionally. I am becoming successful in this kind of business and I claimed it, because I want to manifest it. I am a team player, I want to have fun. I am kindhearted and beautiful inside and out but don't get me wrong, it depends on the person I'm dealing with, I can be rude too like super rude! Taking advantage of me is big no no. You'll get what you deserve later on. I am a goal-oriented person, passionate in writing and sharing the right way. I am in love in all new things specially with JK's personality; he made me laugh out loud, it's so healing. My academic side isn't that bad but also not too good because I still have a lot of knowledge to earn. My friend advised me to exaggerate little achievements though to help me attract more of it. I have a good voice and a good sense of humor if I choose to let it all out. I am passionate and compassionate. I practice an attitude of gratitude. I prefer to be alone than be surrounded by bad influencial people, but I am keeping my heart open for the good guys too. I am receiving support from the Angelic Beings and a future husband that communicates with me telepathically; I'm not sure if I have met him already, all I know is that, he can guide me well. Whenever I am out of my mind and feeling like in danger, he takes over; I may or may not recognize him personally but it doesn't matter, I think he can but I have trust issues so it's normal to not meet him sooner and it's also normal to not recognize him, I guess he already knew. I have an eye in music and arts and love to cook for me. If you believe you will be healed if you'll ask me to heal you intuitively then you will, but it was you that heals you, not me. I can dance and laugh. I am treasuring happy memories. I welcome new experiences. I'm excited with first time events I can travel, take pictures of me with my coalleagues. I can contribute and be of service. I like Song Joongkis movies šŸ˜ he's such a good actor, I have watched most of his movies, but all of his movies in Netflix. But above all, I really love Photography! It's beautiful and exciting to look for good angles. It's a great brain exercise to look at better things in life. ā¤ Welcome to my Blog! You're allowed to share your thoughts in the comment sections. Also, please follow and share if you like my artwork. It will help me notice that we share the same values.

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