I keep wondering why someone kept following me anywhere I go, whatever I do.
It’s not cutting off from me, it’s always following me like a shadow.
It’s that cousin I hate, I really do hate. He’s abusing me, calling me names, totally disrespecting me.
Even if they’re living within my direct families territory.
I want to get rid of him, he’s stressing me out.
Since I came here, he’s been looking at me with his fiery eyes.
I am not sure if he’s got a broken head or a broken brain.
Maybe he’s just crazy, a narcissist idiot who also wants to get rid of me.
I guess it’s not suppose to be this way, but because of my angst I am feeling angry that I am not getting rid of them in anyway.
My cousins all came in and took over my place. I know I must share but they made me their slaves.
Now I’m the one who’s suffering, forgetting about the travels and best days I have in life.
What an exchange it’s no longer healthy. I figured out were so connected in many ways.
It’s in our dna, that’s why it’s too hard to separate them from me.
But now that I am finally seeing the devils energy, I am slowly manifesting the right people to come my way.
I have to forgive in order to let go.
I have to have compassion inorder to breakthrough from this connection.
I know they’ve been through a lot. I know I have been helping them as well as my other friend.
But it’s too much, they can’t stop hurting. They’ve been making me angry so I can’t let them go.
They’re very wise, they knew this as my weakness, they keep feeding me so I keep holding them in.
But my compassion will help them break away from me, and that will help me break away from the ties our parents have set us up with.
I am already old, I can forgive for my own peace. I must let go of this people, no matter what.
Whatever it takes, I must manifest the complete opposite of this man I know. It’s my cousin you know?
He’s aware of this, he might be so angry and destroying me. I know he’s been destroying me.
Trying to see me so he can kill me. That black magic he possess will only destroy his reality. He’s no longer serving me.
I must set him free, that’s all I can tell me. I must forgive even if it’s too hard to do it.
I know I can for me and the person I want to be. I want to be surrounded by the great people in history.
I want to be surrounded by the community that serves me. I want to be surrounded by friends who cared about me.
I want to be surrounded by people who value me. I want to be surrounded by people who will thank me.
I want to be surrounded by the people who appreciates me for being me.
I want to be called pretty, even if I am not.
I want to be called a beauty queen, even if I am far from being one.
I want to be called a Goddess, even though I am not. Guess what I have been attracting people like this man I am talking about.
But my friends are my friends, they’re all I want.
My aunt/acting mother trusted the man I have hated, I felt so betrayed.
He’s so egoistic, damn he’s the worst person in the world I have been close to.
But there’s another one I want, someone who is a friend, a very good friend.
In line with my other childhood friend who’s very good in everything.
He is my good friend even if he’s married. I am amazed by him because he’s got family and I know he will become the best father he can be. I will pray for him and his family.
May he be blessed more and more and be a good.
Friend to everyone. I can trust him with my brother, I know he’s always watching.
I hope I can talk to him so that I can refer my brother to him. I know he’s not being greedy. I know he’s always helping me.
I have to help my brother in a little way I can. My father and my little brother as well.
I will try to help them in my own little way, so they will not be left behind, they will not feel guilty.
I am still thinking of them because they’ve been a part of me. It’s time focus on the people I want than those I do not want.
It’s what “The Secret” teach me about.
I want something different, different from this man. I want something respectful like that man I have met before.
He’s so amazing, he’s so strong. But he’s my husband not my childhood friend anymore.
I am loved by friends, I am loved by someone I am meant to be. I wanna be with the one.
I hope he’s still around with me.
Although he so scary, he wants to marry me already he can’t just say. He so scared I will reject him because I knew he’s someone new. We live in different places growing up in different places.
But I guess he’s still with me, such a lovely heart. Maybe he’s noticing me, but I know he’s no longer thinking about me, because he respected me.
It is time to turn my focus to him and let go of this old memories I had with my cousin. It is now time to stay with friends I know because they accepted me for who I really am.
It’s time to focus to those people I want to be with than those I don’t want, if I want my life to change to something beautiful and new. If I want to be respected like the way he do. If I want to be noticed and be respected.
I must focus my attention to him who have accepted me for who I am.
We will be living in Jeju, soon as we can. We will be meeting up there even if we’re afar.
This is going to be the secret that will not be told. I hope he’s contacting me already.
But I must keep my heart open, for him to get in, that he may astral help me from afar.
Whenever I am in danger, he helped me. I am always loved the way I wanted him to be.
We’re so so close the other way. He’s going to help my family through me. I know I have changed because of him.
Maybe he’s looking at me but not really touching me. He will pause for a moment trying to listen to what I would say.
It felt like we’re too close we’re just footstep away. The world have changed with out meeting.
Everybody observes social distancing, that’s how we learn to get in touch from afar.
He is cooking right now, looking at me, I’m not really sure if he is seeing me, but I know he is feeling me.
That’s how strong our connection is.