Insecurities

She kept comparing on herself
Looking at their photos, looking for someone to befriend.
Look these people weren’t my super friends but communication made us so.
Our differences doesn’t matter.
We are one in this together.
I have a family too, just like you do.
I’ll focus on the one who’s supporting me since day one.
I am loved, I am accepted, even if it’s secretly done.
But I know I wanted something good for them, I will be praying for them.

I kept looking at other family without appreciating mine, those who kept on helping me.
Without this I am back to them.
This worries, these crazy thoughts that’s bothering me, a bad habit that makes me crazy.
I kept on blaming them instead of me being afraid to them.
This pandemic, all my bad decisions really helped me realize that it’s actually better to stay with them in the forest.
I will be connecting with them and I will feel good around them.

I will be listening to them, I will make it happen.
These insecurities is no longer a part of me, I must look at people who doesn’t make me feel insecured.
People who made me feel at home and same with them.
I think that’s all I am looking for. Those people who are humble and true like me too.
But I will keep my heart open to rich friends who want to reach out with me.

My insecurities will be lifted out with the Lord Jesus Christ. He’s with me and he will always be by my side.
I will no longer be bitter, because there is someone who is friendly and loving with me.
I have almost forgotten him, the love of my life, the lord Jesus Christ.
I will remember you since day one will begun.
I have forgotten your unconditional love.
Whenever I feel so insecure and so lonely and a psycho, I stay tune with you, and I feel relaxed.

I will surrender all my worries to the lord Jesus Christ, the future is in his hands, I will let him decide.
I am happy to be here having a free home, something I must first be thankful and grateful so that we will be blessed of a place we can call our own.
I am praying that I’ll be guided in this journey.
I hope that one day, I’d be able to say to my self that I made it.
It will be an amazing accomplishment for me to at least give me something I can share to my mother.
In silence, something that only Jesus Christ knows.
It’s time for me to do it on my own.
I have to provide, I will make their dreams cone true!

One dream, one family, one friends, if I own it, they will no longer have that bitter lips to look down on me and my mother for going to them.
Poor you, someone who kept on helping and I am being looked down because my mother would still come to them.
I have to help her now, I will of course show my money, my own.
A business she can start running.
A pocket money to be shared with the family, for food, events, cooking, etc.
I will do it for me, one day she will no longer come to you for help, I will provide her and I will buy her things she needed, everything.

From food to clothing, to the things she wants to run for her own business thing.
I will provide help to those who are in need.
Even if they are the worse of all the worse.
If they’ll ask for help then we will provide them, but if they won’t, he’ll no!
Who are you to be given without asking.
Let’s see if they will still have that face to ask help from us nor accept our help after they have belittled us and hurt us.
Their ego will only stopped them, and will keep them in the mud.

So that’s why I learned my lessons, I will always remember to look at my self first.
Where I am and where I am heading.
The trespasses I made, the trespasses I have messed up.
It’s better to be done like that, than you doing it to them though.
Even if they’re hurting us anyway, we’re still willing to help for those who will ask, just like my brother JRM.