I went to Kartzone to get out from my comfortzone. This is a system I am trying to develop for me to follow. It helped me relax and feeling new everytime I conquer every fear I have.
Since the pandemic, I have never been outside my little room. It got worse because I wasn’t really going out before that except with a friend who invited me to eat at restaurants, her treat.
I am truly blessed to have met people like her, although it didn’t continue due to pandemic. I found another strong workmate and a good friend during the pandemic and she’s awesome. Now that everything is slowly getting back to normal, I am also back in track in living the life I deserve to live.
Growing up stuck in one place and then the other, my life was truly from comfort zone to another comfort zone and I wasn’t really growing up even if I did have achievements. I want real experience, true feelings not just the feeling I get by reading those books. It got me frustrated sometimes and it’s making me too lazy many times.
I had so much fear of what my family and others would gossip behind my back if I do this and that, and I’m tired of that fearful life, trying to impress them all. In the end, they’re not even thankful of what you’ve got and belittled you of what you don’t achieve because you care too much about their feelings and comments etc. In the end, depression sucks me in and nothing they can help but blame you for caring too much. Except those who did care, a little is too good for me, at least they do (my grandma/grandpa), encouraging me back to the almighty, praising me, and acknowledging my little achievements.
So my first step was going alone at Kartzone. I invited others but they’re not available and I remember my teacher’s message on her Facebook wall, “If they’re not going, go yourself.” It really helped me a lot. She didn’t know I am secretly following her advises. She also shared that “if it’s not going to kill you, then do it.” But we had a caregiving training that time. I kinda applied it in other stuffs hehe.
When it’s your first time, it’s really helpful to have Google maps with you, since it will guide you and the taxi driver to that new place. Smiling and being friendly to staffs isn’t going to kill you, in return you will be helped and you will feel welcomed.
I had 8 laps, it was awesome. Had to get used to the vehicle because it’s a little hard to turn left and right, my neck hurts at first so I had to adjust. It was so hot but it was so worth it. I was alone racing with myself trying to go fast and slow, no need to worry, I can’t lose, but I gained some confidence and achievement that day.