When I was young, I was told that my mother’s dead (same with left us) so I believed it. Mourning wasn’t an option for me. At a young age, I had to decide if I go to school or not. I had to make decisions for my 4 year old brother. I had to choose the right people who can take care of him while I’m at school.
At age 8-10 until now I experienced depending on my self, observing others, seeing the difference and doing what I believe is right. I have a very keen observation skills. I learned to read people’s mind and their next steps since I was young. I am gifted with such a gift that I knew what to do in order to win against their plans.
Everything comes with a risk. I do not need someone’s approval, but since I met someone who act like a mother I had to act like a needy person just to make them feel useful. In return, I suffered from depression. Oh it’s hard to act dependent when in fact we can do it all without them.
All those acts was a waste of my time, it went on for 10years, they belittled me for acting dependent to my mother figure, she acted like my victim, like I used all her money for school and she gets nothing in return. Her close family hunts me like a thief, disliked me like I am not welcome to my own mother’s home.
She acted like an angel in front of me, helping me, like I’m abandoned and I have no grandparents waiting for me to come home. Like I had no father who cares about me while I was back home. She make people she knew believed in her lies about me and that made me feel insecure, like my life is a lie and that I do not really exist.
Well, it’s the truth, I only start existing soon as I woke up from the truth. I only start existing that time I went back home. Oh I had friends waiting for me. I had cousins and neighbors who were there for me. They’re all so kind to me. They all knew me and brother because my father was known in my town for being a friendly citizen who dated lots of girls including married once. He’s ashamed of it by the way, but I told him, “it’s not only you..” me too… 🤣 just kidding. I haven’t dated married people yet, not as far as I know.. if they’re lying about their status, then it’s not my fault.
Waking up from the lies they told me was a big relief, though it freezes a part of me, I stopped existing like my cousin did. Our parents are brainwashers, they are all narcissist who wants to enslave us, to follow their false beliefs and make us feel guilty for being our true selves. Threatening us with death, karma and abuses.
Oh well, thanks to that, I learned to face it all and challenging them to see who’s going to receive it first. Oh well, I have proven myself cool, happy and alive without them and no false brainwashing will ever shit on me. I knew one by the way, acting like a mother to make us believe in lies. Guess what, it’s funny, specially when you show them your real self, they’ll feel outsmarted and it’s so amazing. “Don’t me” according to Ms. Ellen. Not me, I’ve been there, I learned my lessons, so I know how to handle bullshits. I learned to trust in my guts and will decide to do what is right, again it’s a risk and it always turned right. It works magic all the time since I was young.
My advise, if we feel stuck? Let’s Move on, and take the risk of doing something new. Accept what’s no longer working and just move on with what we can do. Live at this moment and let the future decide for itself. The reason why people are stuck in fear and doing something unnecessary it’s because they don’t trust enough. They took action out of fear. They did not have fun because again they’re afraid and not so relaxed.
No matter what happened, when you are being tested, please don’t cheat. I always remind myself to not cheat because I was trained not to. My 7 months training will go to waste if I won’t apply it. It’s a life-changing training that I went through. Subconsciously, I was being programmed beautifully thanks to my caregiving teachers. I am a proud product of their program.
“Mind games is funny and I like it, so let’s keep it going. Mind over matter my friends,” Me
Transformers 