F**k your fear of people’s anger; just do it for yourself! Do what makes you happy

This question “Ring the Bell,” ‘What’s stopping you?’ Obviously, it’s fear. Either you’re scared of what other people would say, or you’re scared that someone’s going to be angry and it’s going to put you to shame.

“Oh lord, I’m sorry that happened, but I’m old enough to be scolded for being pouty. It wouldn’t have happened if I’m being acknowledged.” Thank you for making it easy for me to let you go.

I used to stop myself from doing BIG things; travel far, make friends, go for an adventure, etc. even until now; I am still fighting this fear of being SCOLDED in public at this age; like I’m a stupid child or someone really unworthy of love and kindness.

I’m still searching for the ROOT cause of this fear. It could be from my mother who kept being put to shame in public, either by the bad aunt’s or her brother who treated her like a punching-bag; or those cousins who treated her like a slave.

She’s probably so afraid that she freezes and she’s so scared to do things on her own despite her capabilities. Lucky for me, I learned to stand on my own and let go of those people who are planning of harming me. Thanks to my amazing faith in myself and in the Lord whom I have always believed, to be protecting me in all my ways; so he did.

But I wouldn’t deny that I’m still being triggered by those same type of people who have once bullshitted my mother’s childhood life. Good for me, I have the courage to forgive and do things on my own. Thanks to my amazing faith in the Lord. I have always attracted the right people. Always choose the best, the price doesn’t matter.

As a child, I have already learned and understood people’s relationship problems, I understand that it’s not my fault that my mother gave me money for school with angst in it. I know she’s fighting her own demon; but I can still feel how she was treated in the past, the way she treated me or my cousins in the past.

I still have the angst, just like her; I am working on it and hoping to not attract anything just like them in the future. It’s hard to forgive but it’s dangerous to lose yourself and become like them NOW. So either, we forgive now and move on; do things that you could have done a long time ago; or become like them and repeat what was being done to you or to them wrongfully. Jk once said in his song, “I can make it right.”