I’m in a bad connection, it’s in the past.
No longer serving me, only betrays me.
I wanted to upgrade, I felt so hesitant.
Can I really do it, Can I not.
I must change, but my friend told me not to.
I want to keep him, something new.
20:20 is getting over, let it pass.
This wave is strong, it will empower me.
I will meet new people, from different culture
I will see their eyes, brighting up with joy.
Nothing’s wrong, my time will come.
It’s time to share, it’s time to show.
No more delays, I am matured. I am old.
I feel young, let it burn.
Time to grow, go ahead now go.
Lift me up, I need you to.
You’re the only one I trust, you’re the only one I can.
I will be back in school in the near future.
I must not belittle them, I must stay calm.
Please guide me upgrade to the best version of me.
I no longer have to speak that language, I can speak English already.
In case I needed friends, that’s the time that I must learn.
I am upgrading to lift up my limitations.
I am letting the world bring me to the place where I belong.
I deserve something better, I deserve something new.
I must tell them my situation so they will know.
I know nothing about the industry, I must read the manual really.
I must not change, I will only upgrade to the vest version of me.
If they think I am forbidden, I deserve to know.
Maybe I’m just gifted, I have to let my husband know.
If he’s with me, then I am with you.
I feel like I am nothing, or Maybe I’m just acting.
Which one is me, I can be all I want to be.
Up to me, my best friend told me.
We’be been connected since I was 8.
He’s my only friend since my mother left.
I am never alone, I am never left behind.
I was young, but I feel old.
They’ve been guiding me since I can speak.
I was so quite because people doesn’t talk.
They’re not English, I am not their friend.
But I have to because I am smart I know.
Somebody big, somebody strong, watching me like we’re meant to be.
He created me, I believe so.
He’s big he’s strong we’re not talking.
He did it all to help me well.
He send me people to assist me well.
He said “Grow up” I said, “I wanna stay young”.
I am forever young, but he told me I have to love my husband.
I kept on acting, I kept on acting.
But I know I can if I’ll try.
Help me upgrade to the new you.
Help me find the same people I was once with.
I am being helped again just like before.
This is a new era, the old will pass the new one’s will rise.
I guess I was chosen to be with them.
Maybe I am quite intelligent maybe not.
Maybe I was only acting, as if I have everything, I ended up having nothing.
Now I wanted to play little. I wanted to stay little.
I have been disappointed. I have been hurt.
I have to be real, I must be real.
I have a good heart, I just want to get what I want.
I cheated, yes I have.
I look at my seatmates papers, I know I have.
I deserve better, but because I have changed my answers, I fucked the world feeling guilty of what I did.
I learned the value of authencity.
I became humble after a lifetime of frustration.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
I felt that guilt of doing things the wrong way.
It was dirty, I caught it the wrong way.
I knew a lot, I learned a lot.
I keep myself low, I did it for me.
I must be kept humble in the environment I know.
But I am too old to act like I am still novice and unknown.
This world is big, it’s not like my hometown.
Same people, same, just same.
Faces changes, but souls doesn’t.
May I was only dreaming to be with everything.
I want to be surrounded by English speaking dudes. I must keep improving.
I have the right to grow, even outgrow the people In know.
If this is to save their lives from being low.
Now I have a new father, a new friend, a new everything.
I will not change my everything, but I will definitely upgrade my everything.
I grew up so quickly, I know I have.
But deep within me was a child, and will always be a child.
My inner child that is doubtful, confused, and scared of the people around.
I must upgrade this child to grow up into something she deserves to have.
She’s still young, it’s never too late to give her everything I can.
It’s my time, to fulfill the things I haven’t done.
I must love my husband, until the next cycle begins.