Bad connection (Comment if this is meant for you)

I’m in a bad connection, it’s in the past.

No longer serving me, only betrays me.

I wanted to upgrade, I felt so hesitant.

Can I really do it, Can I not.

I must change, but my friend told me not to.

I want to keep him, something new.

20:20 is getting over, let it pass.

This wave is strong, it will empower me.

I will meet new people, from different culture

I will see their eyes, brighting up with joy.

Nothing’s wrong, my time will come.

It’s time to share, it’s time to show.

No more delays, I am matured. I am old.

I feel young, let it burn.

Time to grow, go ahead now go.

Lift me up, I need you to.

You’re the only one I trust, you’re the only one I can.

I will be back in school in the near future.

I must not belittle them, I must stay calm.

Please guide me upgrade to the best version of me.

I no longer have to speak that language, I can speak English already.

In case I needed friends, that’s the time that I must learn.

I am upgrading to lift up my limitations.

I am letting the world bring me to the place where I belong.

I deserve something better, I deserve something new.

I must tell them my situation so they will know.

I know nothing about the industry, I must read the manual really.

I must not change, I will only upgrade to the vest version of me.

If they think I am forbidden, I deserve to know.

Maybe I’m just gifted, I have to let my husband know.

If he’s with me, then I am with you.

I feel like I am nothing, or Maybe I’m just acting.

Which one is me, I can be all I want to be.

Up to me, my best friend told me.

We’be been connected since I was 8.

He’s my only friend since my mother left.

I am never alone, I am never left behind.

I was young, but I feel old.

They’ve been guiding me since I can speak.

I was so quite because people doesn’t talk.

They’re not English, I am not their friend.

But I have to because I am smart I know.

Somebody big, somebody strong, watching me like we’re meant to be.

He created me, I believe so.

He’s big he’s strong we’re not talking.

He did it all to help me well.

He send me people to assist me well.

He said “Grow up” I said, “I wanna stay young”.

I am forever young, but he told me I have to love my husband.

I kept on acting, I kept on acting.

But I know I can if I’ll try.

Help me upgrade to the new you.

Help me find the same people I was once with.

I am being helped again just like before.

This is a new era, the old will pass the new one’s will rise.

I guess I was chosen to be with them.

Maybe I am quite intelligent maybe not.

Maybe I was only acting, as if I have everything, I ended up having nothing.

Now I wanted to play little. I wanted to stay little.

I have been disappointed. I have been hurt.

I have to be real, I must be real.

I have a good heart, I just want to get what I want.

I cheated, yes I have.

I look at my seatmates papers, I know I have.

I deserve better, but because I have changed my answers, I fucked the world feeling guilty of what I did.

I learned the value of authencity.

I became humble after a lifetime of frustration.

Shame on me.

Shame on me.

I felt that guilt of doing things the wrong way.

It was dirty, I caught it the wrong way.

I knew a lot, I learned a lot.

I keep myself low, I did it for me.

I must be kept humble in the environment I know.

But I am too old to act like I am still novice and unknown.

This world is big, it’s not like my hometown.

Same people, same, just same.

Faces changes, but souls doesn’t.

May I was only dreaming to be with everything.

I want to be surrounded by English speaking dudes. I must keep improving.

I have the right to grow, even outgrow the people In know.

If this is to save their lives from being low.

Now I have a new father, a new friend, a new everything.

I will not change my everything, but I will definitely upgrade my everything.

I grew up so quickly, I know I have.

But deep within me was a child, and will always be a child.

My inner child that is doubtful, confused, and scared of the people around.

I must upgrade this child to grow up into something she deserves to have.

She’s still young, it’s never too late to give her everything I can.

It’s my time, to fulfill the things I haven’t done.

I must love my husband, until the next cycle begins.