Finally, I passed my practical exam (NCII) in caregiving. Another achievement for me this year. I am so thankful and grateful. So lucky and blessed beyond measure.
I patiently waited and finally it arrived. I trusted the process and did the best I could to support myself and thank goodness I have succeeded.
It’s weird that everytime I asked for guidance and strenght from Mother Mary, those dreams I thought impossible for me to make it happen, did happened.
I knew it wasn’t a coincidence, it’s a proof that prayers really worked with action and it always worked. I mean not to brag about it. It really worked! I was observing it. I was experimenting it. It all worked. Everything I asked for is being given to me as long as I am doing it.
My faith worked so well, Mother mary always supports me ever since I was young. I came from a broken family, mother mary have been my best idol since my mother abandoned us, my life worked fine. Church have been my dwelling place instead of going somewhere unsafe.
Every sunday I go to church, listen to the preacher, thank and be happy. My father got lost a little, he almost had me stopped schooling, but I kept on going to school even without his support, tuition fee is free since it’s a public school, I am so lucky I was born there. I hold on to others who keep on going. I followed them instead and it was the best decision ever. My grandparents were there, aunts and uncles, to help me with my food and allowances. My father remarried after I graduated grade 6 with 3rd honors.
I was totally feeling alone when that happened, insecurity comes in, guilt and then my mother started bullshitting our lives since she started lending me their money. With respect, I took it, “Someday, I will repay her.” But even if I didn’t accept her money, I would still be able to graduate high school since I was a scholar. It was a mistake to accept her offer, I wouldn’t have been connected to my cousins who looked at me as NOTHING, pitiful, and just no one.
I was young and I was fooled with their money. I gave them the power to control my choices, my attitude changes, I am full of anger, it was crazy. I resent the day it happened. I learned so much from that. But I didn’t surrender, I met her and I studied college as a scholar. Still, I could have lived a peaceful life studying in college because I have been offered full scholarship grants by many universities, but I choose to be with her along with my cousin and his brother which I really hated.
I was never at peace, I was constantly being looked down, and they always made me feel like nothing, dependent, ugly, not helping, useless, etc. She continue dating men, sleepless night she stayed in that cafe. In a group of people alike, the special one is the evil for them. Lots of men have come to her hands, it all wasn’t enough, she’s constantly seeking for more, she’s the worst woman I knew, I never expected my mother turned up to be like that, and so I lived in disappointment, not listened to, so ashamed of my life choices.
I forgot about my faith and I wasn’t guided. Thanks to my friends who have been loyal to me, who knew me professionally, who stayed with me even in the worst of times. Although I had to cut them off for awhile because I started becoming like the woman I once hated. It was the worst joke I had been through and I never wanted it, I was unconscious. I didn’t notice I was slowly becoming like her. She’s the worst influence in the world and I couldn’t tell that to her face because she denied me as her daughter. Ask my brother, he’s stronger than me, thanks to him. She’s got her own reasons and it’s none of my business, I just hope she wouldn’t regret it because she’s none of my business now, I’m done caring about her, giving advises that’s only taken for granted, and I am already immune with her drama, rest assured “I have deeply and completely accepted myself. And I forgive them for everything I thought they have done wrong to me.” Wasted 20 years of my life dealing with her, but not totally because I still did something. Yet still, I could have used it to help myself become even better, I would have grown depressed and disappointed with life, it was all my fault but it’s not too late yet for a big CHANGE which I already started and will keep on going.
The worst torture is not physical abuse not mental abuse, it’s actually emotional abuse. When people will lie in front of you, even if they knew that you know they’re obviously lying. F**K right? Guess what, mother mary’s here again helping me get over my emotions and keep me stronger than ever. I am going to forgive them, I have been forgiving them, but they won’t stop right there, once something has been forgiven, they’ll create another one. Lucky me, I am more than ready to deal with them, unlike before I was very respectful to them, but now, “It’s time to respect myself.”
No matter how they will label me, “Let’s see what will happened next.” I can make it right, never will it happen again. She had me forgot my grandparents, and the people who truly care about me by constantly telling me how ugly they are, evils, monsters, etc. The best actress indeed, but all she said was actually her, and “I am going to forgive that too. It’s the only way to be myself again.” So I did it and I believe I am heading the right way.
Mary points the way, and it’s true for me. Her church is upright and it’s leading me to the right direction which would also reflect in me. I aim to also lead others to the right direction. That’s why I created this site hoping that I might help lost souls find their way, back to themselves, back to the person they were meant to be.
My faith worked so well, and with dedicated action, nothing is impossible as long us it is doable. “If others can, you can.” Just know the process, trust it so you will start doing it, starting right now. ” And remember, be specific. Like how I wanted to move in my dream house with my own money. Char.