Happy Mother’s Day Good Mothers

Mother’s aren’t perfect. They too have their own setbacks and personal problems aside from their responsibilities. I had so much bad experiences with my mother, but I had quite good ones too.

She may not be the best mother I dreamed to have. She’s such a baby mother and it’s only us who kept on acknowledging her because we care for her secretly. I’m not the showy type but they can always come to me when there’s nobody else to turn to, and if it’s only me who can. She just live her life like no daughter and son, then act as if we’re not helping her and that we’re just here for her money and using her. She didn’t even acknowledge our presence, and not even thankful that we choose to stay with her.

Ah slightly right, we do need motherly support and it may not be the best attention we get, I am always thankful and grateful that at least she’s alive and she’s the closest person I can borrow money from and other important things. I guess mother’s aren’t bad at all. The God’s blessed them good instincts to help childrens that are good to them. I’m a little lazy because most of the time I used my brain not my body, so yeah, I couldn’t be of much help to her unless I choose to, but she knew I’m a good one too.

Mother’s are powerful and naturally caring. No matter how hard they tried to deny us, in the end of the day, they’re still going to help us and that made me feel better, just knowing that “Oh, at least she didn’t kill me, but she almost did when I was 7Months in her belly.” At least she allowed me in her roof. She’s a tiger and an annoying baby who’s constantly searching for a mother. And it’s annoying how she thought I am like that, “I Definitely lived away from her for 2 years and not coming home for two years too.” People just can’t accept who they are within them, they simply turn their eyes unto others close to them.

Geez, I hated it when she’s acting like a child, but it’s cute. Although, I really hated it. Growing up is quite crazy for me, I had to be angry all the time, because she keeps me angry, but it’s okay, it’s not all her fault, it’s also mine. I could have told her straight to her face how ugly and inappropriate she was that time. But I didn’t because I respected her and I feel like I wasn’t in the right place to lecture her.

I can only get angry and sound so bad in front of her, but people grow, and I think she’d be careful to act in front of me now or else I would really tell her her flaws mercilessly. But let me grow even brighter first, I’ll try not to be rude. And these whole thing, revealing about my mother isn’t going to hurt her in any way. Besides, she’s just going to deny and ask me “I wonder where you mother is?”

I will appear like crazy, but not in my hometown, because they knew the truth and they are with me. That’s why I told my brother to return home. Why on earth is he dependent on her and also wanting to be provided. How pathetic, they mirrored each others attitude, stubborn like crazy. Oh well, I am stubborn too, but I have my limitations, I know when to stop being stubborn.

Like for example, I want to eat healthy yet expensive foods, wear branded clothing, buy a house, get a farm, pay my own bills, give my bro coins without hard feelings. Most importantly, I want to learn practical skills that requires money in order to get experienced. When I have so much dreams in mind, I have the courage to work and become productive.

My mother was good at supporting me and feeding me, but that’s only because there are other people involved. I am so lucky and blissful that her friends became my friends too, so she can’t really show her ugly self infront of them. Then she’ll treat me well. But before they came, she’s at her worst attitude and it’s the craziest truth about her.

That actually scared me to grow up, because what if I will become like her. It’s the worst nightmare, nobody likes it. But no matter how I hide it, they’ll still see her in me even if I am not doing crazy stuffs like her, they can already feel it. My only choice is to always prove them wrong, and show them the unexpected. Oh well, I have to admit that the people you hated reflects yourself within. I kinda know whenever I started becoming like them, that’s when I am not being my true self, it happened unconsciously. That’s why being conscious is very important for me to be a good person.

If I want to stop attracting these ugly people, I must change myself into someone I want to attract. Even if it’s the hardest thing to do, I think I really have to do it because it’s the only way. So maybe she’s right after all, I changed into someone stronger, bigger and able to fight her back like an adult, just like how she addressed me as someone like her.

But then again, I am so thankful and grateful that she helped me before and choose to help me despite other people’s disapproval. I know she fought really hard too. Yet, I still hated it, coz why is she fighting for us anyways. It’s even harder to accept that these woman really care about me. I would have been dead by now if she didn’t wake me up that time our place was burn.

I’m maybe good at spotting her flaws but I am also good at spotting her strengths. Strengths that I also got from her. My parents weren’t perfect, but somehow I looked up to them, I am so proud of them even as a child, now an adult and still child-like minded alien. My mother’s really workaholic and I really hated it. She doesn’t give her time to relax even if what she’s doing goes to waste in the end. She’s wasting her power and I really hated it. She worked too hard and yet gained nothing in the end.

Unlike me, I chill, I don’t push so hard. If there’s nothing for me in the end, you will not see me last for a long time, I will find a way to come out and be lazy. But if I can see future in what I do, I’ll keep doing it. My mother is very good with other people to the extent that they will take advantage of her and then in the end I’ll just hear her talk-back like she’s not okay, used etc. which was her fault in the first place. She just can’t stop. That really makes me angry, that she won’t listen to me, she’ll always have reasons to back-up her stubbornness. Duh!

I am maybe quiet and not helping her much, also because she can do it by herself, I mean she’s not an old woman, she can do her thing. She’s also a manipulator but she always ends up losing. It’s like a manipulator being manipulated. And me seeing all these happening just couldn’t do anything but get angry of myself, such a terrible listener, I better not care enough. When I started caring less, my life became a little stress free.

They have bad words to talk behind my back, it’s okay, everyone has their own set of rules and beliefs to follow. It really depends on every person, and I am a type of person who can respect that too. I know my flaws, I had so much, everything that I can detect is my flaw. But I am trying to become better everyday and become the best version of me every new year.

Happy Mother’s day to all mothers. I hated how I hated that I couldn’t tell anyone that my mother is my mother. Don’t ask me I won’t tell. I’ll let her do the honor to acknowledge us. I hope she will in front of my husband, at least she will experience respect from my future family, char. It’s so sad that she won’t be recognized because they just didn’t know. It’s crazy, and a little emotional. It’s really her fault, in whatever angle to look at. She cannot blame me nor anyone of our behavior, we just respected her death wish.

It’s crazy how her family still look at me evilly like they didn’t know what’s happening. So Good luck on her game. I personally don’t want to be in trouble too. So up to her! I’ll just move on with my life every single day and mother myself like I deserved it. I’m an adult now anyway. Happy mother’s day mother’s, be proud of your son’s and daughters, it’s the most precious gift you can ever give to them. The rest is up to them. It’s your responsibility to make them feel accepted, cared, appreciated, listened and forgiven, even if it will spoil them. It’s better to have a spoiled smart child than a broken one.

Published by irose

Hi! I'm Roselyn! Username: irose PayPal www.paypal.me/RoselynMina I'm a dreamer, bound to face all my fears, traumas, etc. I have been through shit, running away from my bliss. But I guess, I've had enough that I want to just be myself. *My mother dreamt of something great; I think I am doing it, this time!⛄

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: