There is hope

“There is always hope when it comes to family.” – Me.

I thought of the other way to keep my family together, and I realized that I actually have two younger brothers. I focused too much on my parents separation and their life choices that I really hated, and I missed to see the presence of my brothers, helpless brothers who seeks guidance, financial and emotional help from their sister.

We have each other. I have to keep on moving because I have two younger brothers left and I have to take responsibility. Before, I kept on running away because it’s the parents responsibility to take care of their children’s. I couldn’t accept that they’re irresponsible and they can’t be together anymore for my other brother.

Now that I have accepted this responsibility and started acting like a responsible sister, I had that sense of usefulness and a reason to move forward. They gave me reasons to continue, to live life and to move in the right direction. I lost touch because my mother has changed her everything and my father has a new wife.

I lost the family I once had and I act like I’m okay this whole time, but I am not okay. I am honestly feeling so lost everytime I see kids with complete family, a loving mother and a father. This jealousy took away my focus and I spend so much time hating myself. I kept on comparing myself to them and it really made me feel so weak and defeated. Not a good idea at all.

I am still accepting their new lives and I am still accepting my new responsibility. I have done this before, I will do it again hoping that I won’t get lost again. We have brothers and sisters. The lost of our parents or their divorce must not affect our relationship with each other. We must not follow them, we must do what is right. If they can’t, then we must.

I kept on running away from these responsibility. But this responsibility is making me useful. It made me feel like I have a sense of purpose for everything that I am doing because I have brothers. I have them, I can share everything to them. I actually have them, I’m not alone, so it’s really okay to have plenty. It’s okay to accept more and more blessings because I still have them.

My brother motivates me to finish my school but somehow I have forgotten that. They’re actually my hope. I can still build it, there is hope. I can still reunite the three of us in the name of our father. We always have hope, just so you know. I hope that if you’re experiencing the same life situation, if you’re family’s broken and the brothers and sisters are fighting; I hope that the eldest will start taking responsibility. We can do it! We’re not made the first, if we can’t do it right. 👍 And you’re not alone.