We’re almost at the end of December, and then January comes next; this is a month where we start another whole year and another whole month to get through.
There maybe a lot of mental roadblocks this year but I’m glad to say I’m able to get through it; quick decisions, trusting my gut feeling, trusting my instincts, helped me make good decisions.
When I say good, it means that I have not regretted evey moves I made and every places I’ve visited. I have yet to see the result of this year’s resilience and courage to pursue things achievable and dear to my heart.
Looking back, I have a lot to be thankful for; the most recent would be meeting my college classmate “Nix” yesterday. I was walking my self out of my little room to exercise (disengage from stressful thoughts), I suddenly felt the desire to eat something hot. So I seek for a restaurant that sells cooked fish with “Sabaw”.
Seconds after I’ve ordered and have already seated on my chair, a man called my other name, “Oe, Mina!” I Looked up and saw “Nix”. “Oh, hey Nix!” We greeted each other and started talking. We had a lot to catch since the last time I had a real convo with him. It was past 12 years ago, before I got kicked out from the program.
One thing I’m so glad about is that they never change, it was as if we never separated ways with them many years ago, we’re still the same us who just went somewhere, self discovering and pursuing new things we find interesting. It’s like we’re still in school learning our lessons, taking test, but this time it’s real no longer in papers but in the actual field.
It’s really good to see mates in the past. Seeing them becoming successful is amazing. Seeing our other batch-mates meeting each other, after many years of being away for work or other life endeavours, really made me happy; I think that’s the positive side of social media, aside from me stressing about how many likes I get from the recent reels I posted, “Haha”. It’s like a social media syndrome and it started to creep into me, “Attention seeking bad habit.” I must change my mindset into checking out with old mates and rejoicing how much they have grown.
Oh well, I’m a little bit jealous of all their progress and if I wouldn’t be careful this automatic bitch mentality would find faults in others; good thing, I am still in control. I am inspired by the achievements they have earned and happy about it, their families, kids, jobs, places they have visited, etc.
I am proud of me too, my achievements may not be that huge like BTS, Taylor Swift and many other big stars, scientist, etc.; but I’m doing good in the areas I chose to be a part of. I still have the ability to excel, even in little things, and really enjoy it so much! As long as we’re happy, we all win, regardless of how much money we earn, attention we get, stars we receive and circles we have.
I’m just hoping that the place I am right now will support my happiness; and I really hope I will stay longer than expected. Stress is everywhere but if you look at it positively, it will help you grow and that’s the reason why we keep changing because we want to grow.
Happiness is choice, so does worry. I heard that worrying doesn’t really help, it’s simply showing off to the other person for them to think that you’re good because you’re affected and that you care, but it’s not really helping. Worrying only cause more worries and time. Instead of worrying, why don’t we take action and try something actually helpful.
Oh well, I guess my year will end so beautifully. I am planning to watch the fireworks 2024 at camp adella, where I can see the view of the cities in Cebu. I thought about it the first time I was there and I never thought it’s possible this year. Gladly, our company set us off on December 31st and January 1st. Isn’t that awesome?
We’re also off last December 24, 2023! I have not expected it! I think it’s the best surprise I have received since I left college and started working for companies. I hope and I really really hope that I would stay longer as long as others can. I enjoyed the free food and all the little achievements I get from them. I love certificates and I’m collecting them since school, and getting more of it would be so good!
Since I came back from my long long 3 years of resting, meditating about what I really wanted in life, seeking for peace and guidance; with all my childhood issues and traumas, to handling broken parents; to learning how to take care of my emotions; it felt like a much needed break to help me get ready for the world.
Well, when I returned to work again last 2020, I was already a trained caregiver; I was taught things to help me cope up with everything work related; I started understanding people’s issues and how to react without affecting my own mental and emotional health; it was the best foundation I received from my CI’s. I owe them a lot like they were teaching us how to care for ourselves so that we can take care of others very well and not becoming like them.
Anyhow, there’s always a reason why we are where we are right now. There’s a path that brought me where I am now; a goal that and a personal dream that drives me to move up, move on, and grow! This year, I have taken a lot of turns; and all my turns have been successful and it’s for the good. I have learned so much from the trainings I have taken, and I will always be thankful and grateful for all of it.
I have been rejected many times and not chosen, but this time “I am chosen!” Here, let me give you a little story about my latest journey, “There was someone else, it’s not only me, but I was chosen.” Marquis once said, “You’re amazing!” The words I want to hear from my parents, instead of them talking about others.
Oh well, I guess 2018 was the best too! Meeting Marquis was amazing! It took me years to see differences, it’s really a hard training and I cannot forget his teachings. I guess I am on my way to making that business he suggested, “Travel and tours!” Isn’t it amazing to discover something about you?
Most of my realizations, I got it while travelling; when I say travelling, I’m talking about trekking, simple walking, swimming, etc. It’s when my mind travels and exploring that I see clarity. The things you’re very upset about in the past must happen in order for you to be where you are right now, accept it. I feel like I always knew the “Why” behind everything, I just don’t want to accept that it’s for the best, and it’s for me.
So think again:
“If I have not been disqualified from accountancy program, I would always be dependent to those who can, and will never try my best to balance things out because I’m afraid it will just go to waste. The process is long and I already knew I wouldn’t get the right answer and I will be ashamed of getting a zero score in my major which was accounting; so I just copied what’s right; however, it made me feel bad about myself; although I passed that subject, I barely did it; I thought copying assignments and not getting zero will spare me from shame; but I was wrong. I felt the shame, so much shame; specially when I got disqualified from the program.
Maybe if I tried harder and did not judge myself; maybe if I allowed myself to be honest, it wouldn’t have been so shameful; either ways, accounting is not my passion; I’m not happy balancing statements and recording past transactions; I like letting go of the past, and focusing on current events and being in the moment. If it did not happen, I won’t be able to realize it’s not really my passion; although it took years for me to accept that. I found my passion, I want to process things NOW! Balance things NOW! It makes me happy.”
If I hadn’t been depressed because of that, I wouldn’t have decided to try something new; writing, as a way of processing my angst in the past, Now it’s my way of remembering the good things and being thankful and grateful about it; business, a way to get to know people with same situations; I am inspired to travel as well, to practice my skills I’m recording good memories, and sharing it to the world!
Oh well, I guess “Cath” was right, maybe I am destined for something bigger; instead of recording past business transactions that accounting folks do, maybe I am destined to record life transactions and process it or balance it, yin and yang thingy.
Anyway, if you have read this far, you’re so amazing! I’m so thankful to you! You might as well suggest what’s the best title of this post? Roniel once said that, “Mina’s so talkative, she jumps from one topic to another,” and that was 11-12 years ago Oops! That’s right!
😁 see ya!
Climbing, Rocks! 