I just watched Steve Jobs speech about his career and I’m moved and inspired. I learned “Connecting the Dots” by looking backward in order to make sense of your past rejections as well as failures.
I learned that doing things NOW to start your success is a really smart choice and you know why. People procrastinate because they don’t want to accept the truth about life. In that video I learned to believe in a miracle. Do it now and Believe in a miracle.
Well, I’d like to take this time to connect my own dots; although I don’t have much of a success yet, surviving in the industry I’m currently in for 9 months in counting is a huge success for me. Things I have never thought possible, specially with this CO; I just kept on going.
Looking back, I was alone as a young child, bullied by my male cousin a year older than me, for no reason, he just wanted to bully me and that really pissed me off, I just ignored it because I was there to make friends with his younger sister which was days older than me. He’s probably jealous everytime his sister plays with me because they ended up quarreling in the end.
To him, I was like a destruction. Their mother tried to reprimand him but he’s really pissed off whenever I’m around. I just took all his family’s attention, all to me, including his father which I call “Papa”. To him, it felt like I really conquered his entire family; he didn’t know I have no one to turn to; he’s young and doesn’t know about how messed up family was.
I did not intend to get everyone’s attention, I just tried to make friends because I had no one; both of my parents aren’t in good terms, they always have their own agendas and they never had time together for me. I would either be with my father in the farm, tending the animals; or be with my mother, travelling for her family and business.
I’m always jealous whenever I see families getting together and I would easily notice the difference, between mine and them. It was a really lonely childhood, upsetting, irritating, etc. Why on earth do I have to be with all those people and can’t be alone and live on my own. I was so scared to travel alone, to walk alone, to eat alone; so scared to be left behind. NOW that I’m an adult, I’m doing things I could have done a long time ago! Without fear, I would have accomplished a lot and achieved a lot.
Six years after, my brother was born; I became a sister and a helper to my mother. My father’s always not at home, I grew up searching his whereabouts. Sometimes, he will be at home at midnight. I would be waiting for him and sometimes I just sleep while waiting. He’s not a drunkard, but he’s a chick boy. He makes me grew up worried waiting. Now I’m fine moving forward without waiting.
My mother has been bullied ever since childhood, same as the experience I had experience with cousins; during her absence, I can sense all their hatred just seeing me around their houses trying to fit in; because of that shame we decided to stand on our own; I really hated her because we have a lot of similarities and I hate to admit it. I grew up bullied but I act like I was not so I kept on going back.
“Accepting the truth will help you change direction, which is the right one. Denying the truth will not help you move forward.”
Now, stupid gossips ate her up and scared her of shame, etc. I think I am also experiencing bullshits from people who thinks so highly of themselves, which in fact a nobody. I hope I won’t change my name because of bullying, haha. I mean, “Who are they?” If they’re not as great as Jesus, Elon, Jungkook, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jack Ma, Etc., then they’re just bitter about their lives, trying to be the best out of bullying; and your care sounds intruding to them.
Looking back, I learned that if those mistakes I made, acting like okay, did not happened; I would’ve have learned that it was wrong. The right thing to do is stand on your own. I wouldn’t be able to identify bullying from respect and professionalism.
In the past, I met really good people too; people that are kind to me without having to force myself in; they’re just kind to me and most of them are pets. If there’s one person who’s going to make friends with me, it’s not a person, it’s a God. Even my own mother is a bully, such a shame.
If I didn’t grew up, I wouldn’t realize they’re humans too, who wants to take revenge; who got fed up with anger, jealousy, frustrations, etc. They’re dealing with their own problems too. You can’t expect too much from anyone, just do it yourself! The rest is BONUS! So now, I’ll just empathize and sympathize and than show my disappointments.
I got rejected from the accountancy program twice because I did not accept my first rejection. It was clearly not for me but someone pushed me to still get into the program. The earlier you accept rejections, the earlier you will be redirected.
So be thankful to those honest people who rejects you now than be rejected later; making you believed that you are valued; in fact you’re just being used. I’m grateful to the honest people in the world, it make lives easier and interesting.
If I was not bullied and I was not triggered, I wouldn’t have faced this issue and allow others to treat me better. Sometimes, you have to care less; because if you care a lot, you’ll lose your self.
Namaste!
Climbing, Rocks! 