Lately, I noticed that feeling angry made me feel good. It felt good to feel your emotions specially if you’re going to put faces on it; it will make you laugh instead of crying when you’re sad, losing control when you’re angry, running away when you feel guilty, and hiding when in shame.
I noticed that I wasn’t angry towards anyone, I was angry at myself all these times. All I’m seeing and perceiving are just reflections of my inner self. Whenever I’m upset about a situation, I can feel that angst; a part of me felt it more than anyone in this world will. It’s always been me I’m not forgiving, I’m belittling, I’m judging. It all comes back to me. “What your sow is what you shall reap. You’ll receive what you can give.”
So whenever I wanted to appreciate someone or be happy and proud of someone, I feel proud of me too; but my ego would automatically compare me to them, and that kills the joy and the momentum. So instead of comparing yourself towards them, just embrace them within you. Be proud of yourself first, before you can be proud of them; otherwise, you’re bitter and ungrateful.
Whenever you feel numb and unable to appreciate others, it’s because you hated yourself that much that you can’t appreciate you for all that you’ve achieved. Sometimes, you have to loosen up and be proud of you for the sake of others who also deserves your praise more than you do. Put yourself first above others and make sure to love yourself, support yourself, heal yourself; because that’s how you can help others, by strengthening yourself.
Above all, experiencing your emotions instead of hating it is the righteous thing to do; that’s what makes life good- the emotions that we feel. The challenge lies on how you handle your emotions; and it takes time, but with patience we will master how to react to our emotions and how to utilize them to makes us happy and funny!
All sorts of emotions we’re feeling at a certain moment is an opportunity to say, “Wow, that’s painful?” “Oh, that’s brutal?” Sometimes, a great opportunity to sigh; it could be a good push to do extraordinary things like visiting the highest peak in the Philippines, Mt. Apo. Or trekking with old friends, reconnecting with them and simply getting their insights about everything.
When you feel so down, all you need is to recharge and retrain your mind to do little things that make you happy; things that once make you happy. Distress really sucks, it will make you feel emotionless; it will make you feel that lack of interest. One of the reasons why you felt those is because you have forgotten why you worked so hard. “Para kanino ka bumabangon?” Char!
There’s a nice reel I saw hours ago, about a little child who shared about how a little upset he was, how a little angry and a little sad he was. He shared that after crying, you’ll feel better. So instead of suppressing and acting strong, feel that weakness in you. It takes courage and strength to sit with your emotional self. Therefore, emotions tests your strength, everytime they kick in; so show emotion strength and be their master.
Climbing, Rocks! 