If given the chance to go back in time where ego is not an option, I will accept defeat and move on. “It’s not for me, so why force it?” I have lived my life proving myself I’m good enough.
I thought I wasn’t because I was being rejected, but it wasn’t true. I was more than good enough, but it was not meant for me; because if it was, I would have been happier.
So if I’ll get rejected whatever it is, that doesn’t mean I’m the worst, it just mean “I’m not happy” with it, anymore. It’s not really what I wanted. I cannot force myself to be someone I am not. I cannot force myself to do things I hated, to impress others who can’t be impressed.
If only I knew that I wouldn’t learn anything from that degree, I shouldn’t have finished it. It was a waste of time and I regret every single day being in it. It was the hardest defeat I couldn’t accept in the past.
Right now, I’ll go accept it. I’ll accept defeat and I’ll allow the pain and the shame. I’ll embrace the sadness and joy of finally being free from hardship. I will set myself free now.
Degrees doesn’t measure the person you would become. It doesn’t measure how good you are or how bad you are. What only matters is how happy you are in what you do.
Self studying always worked so well, at least for me. I can guarantee, I have not learned anything from my college days from the books that I’ve read, and it’s a shame to accept that. My learning begins when I started reading books written by real people who have actually been there; from real stories and real experiences.
Have you ever heard of, “The sky is the Limit?” School is not the only place for you to learn. You can learn outside from it and ended up becoming the best out of the best. I knew of someone, and I’m so proud of him.
When the University stopped me from learning accounting, I felt so oppressed. I was deprived of my right to learn from them. I should have left a long time ago, but I decided to stay, angry, disappointed, feeling not good enough, etc., “Para kahuman lang.” It was boring.
Racism was the worst kind of experience. I wasn’t able to learn because they’re boring. I mean, I’m not even interested in the subject. Outside of school, I can learn a lot of things without their approval. My uncle was right all along, if only I listened.
They kicked me out because my scores were low. If I’ll become a master of that thing now, I will choose those who have developed me and put up with me, who gave their everything to create a better me. Some where chosen because they were good, but I want to be chosen because I want to learn.
It wasn’t the right place for me to learn, I deserve a better environment. An environment that nurtures a flower; who will allow it to bloom, prosper and become the best version of herself.
“They said NO, not because you’re not good enough; but because they cannot teach it to you. You must learn it yourself.”
They have succeeded, not because of anyone; they’ve succeeded because they’ve been learning on their own, not because there were good teachers. Best teachers cannot be found in schools, they’re out there showing others how it’s done.
Success depends on your likings and great interest. If you’re not interested enough, you’ll never make a breakthrough because your “Why” is not strong enough. Therefore, find that thing that you want to be doing forever, regardless if it’s going to feed you or not; not because of money, but because it genuinely makes you happy. I think success will follow.
me: I want to travel!
Climbing, Rocks! 