If you ever think that you’re not good enough because of failure and rejection, think again, never settle for less. Learn to change your choices. Is that what you really really wanted to do or is someone wanting it for you?
There might be a reason why you’re not doing your best. Maybe it’s not what you really wanted ever since. Maybe you’re just forced to choose it because you’re too scared to try the other way (the unknown) or go against the crowd.
When I first came to Cebu, I wanted to take up Mass Communication at Cebu Normal University; however, during my entrance exam I was brought by my mother’s now dead boyfriend to take up BS Mathematics and I know there was something wrong. I was misguided. I failed. I was upset. It would have been wrong if I passed anyway.
Second attempt at the a University of Cebu, I took my entrance exam in BS Accountancy and I failed again. It was only temporary, I got kicked out two years after, it’s not what I really wanted. It’s not the course I really wanted but it’s needed for my scholarship.
It was maybe a nice move; even if I got kicked out, my scholarship got reinstated and my previous subjects got credited with my 2nd course; finished it for two years including summer classes. Not bad. I’ve had interesting subjects that’s not available for accountancy students. No board exam pressures. The last two years was easy. Without my ego, I would have been celebrating! Even now, I still feel like a failure when in fact I was just redirected. Time for a change! From complaining to celebrating!
“It seems like what I really wanted to take that time if free to be myself without any pressures, it’s going to be “Banking”, “Psychology”, “Philosophy”, “Agriculture”, and Sales and Marketing / Real estate management.”
Year 2023, I have protested something and ended up leaving; I deserved something better & I was right. I have never wanted to be there in the first place when I first started , I was once again misguided by so called friends and ended up where I don’t really wanted to be. I was just very scared to pursue my heart’s desires.
I had no courage to say “NO” back then; I’m always been so scared of going against anyone because I will be tag as rebellious and I do not know where to go if they’ll kick me out; so the safest thing to do is Act. However, things changed in 2023; I decided to be vulnerable and the real colors of them all erupted. They’ll either bully you or teach you.
The good thing about being yourself is that the people around you will start being themselves. They’ll speak up and their truths pushes me to try the other way. It seems like I was brought to that place for a reason and it was not wasted. It became my stepping stone and it was not intentional. It just happened and I’m so thankful and grateful for all the chances they have given me.
Climbing, Rocks! 