Church

I went to church today, I had an amazing time.
Though I have to cry because I am thankful and grateful to the lord that has been guiding me and watching me all this time.
You don’t want to see it, but if you’re already there and you feel their presence, you can’t help yourself but cry.
After all we have made trespasses that we may not know, in words and in deeds, anything that is not from him, specially that comes from anger and ego.

His love is the only truth I know.
The love of Christ that saves us all through his loving words and his amazing grace.
I am loved by them who have been watching me, I know it’s one of them.
Growing up in church wanting to be beside them, my faith have been tested, but they never failed me.
If something failed, I must succeed with that replacement.

God is so good, I am happy to be surrounded by these good people. Honesty is a good policy, I am one of them. I am so lucky that I have friends that have been surrounding me.
I am being listened to despite the distance we have to endure. I felt that sorrow, but I am recovering from that too.
I felt so down and so disappointed, I needed help to accept myself and I finally did.
I can do it on my own, without these people’s help, even if they don’t listen, I will listen to me.

Sabotaging my self with these outside forces was killing me, but now I am prioritizing my own acceptance, the lords acceptance. I am accepting him first because I needed help to help me accept me in the first place. He’s been loving me, but it’s hard to see, anger is still blinding me, but the lord sees me.
I am not sure if he can feel me, but I am also not sure if I am actually listening to his confession.

He said he loved me, and I believed in him.
He’s been my husband since then, but it’s so hard because I cannot see him, I cannot touch him nor kiss him, I have to be as strong as him. This someone makes me feel like the universe is nearby, a portal was opened that time. I want to see that again, it’s very different whenever I am with him.
I am changed, I can feel his presence. The Lord was there, the angels were there, I was loved, I was blessed. My friend showed me that, it’s very different. What was that? A beautiful world is next to me, maybe they’re watching me and I am just one inch away. Is there a multiple universes. Is there multiple earth inside one earth?
Why am I seeing that, it’s so different than I used to see. It felt different than I used to feel.

Stranger things might be true and maybe they are really watching me. Maybe the world I have been their territory since I can feel their presence long before.
I had those senses, but when I returned 20 years after school, I couldn’t feel that. I became more hopeful to climb more mountains.
I hope to be able to do it, it’s the most beautiful experience I had and I couldn’t get more of it.
My first time mountain climbing was with my friends. I was there with them and I am always with them.

It’s time to join them, it’s time to come out and become one with these people I used to just listen, it’s time to dance with them, to support them in all their journey.
This fear must no longer hurt me, I have to set myself free from this. It’s time to grow up, it’s time to be one with them.
I am also tired of this act, it’s no longer serving me.
It hurts to see them all passing by, it hurts to see my shadow but I must get over with it. It is no longer serving me.
It really hurts you know?

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