Releasing Angst

We’ll give you an example, you may replace the words, but this is how I do it..

Even though, I always feel bullied and belittled by my uncle for being her sisters adapted daughter, who left his husband to be with a lot of men, and I felt so angry, so ashamed, feeling betrayed on her behalf, there’s nothing I can do because she’s not going to listen to me anyway, and I felt so bad about myself that I couldn’t change her, she’s stuck with them, and wherever she goes, they all go like crazy. I care about her so much and she just wouldn’t stop acting helpless, so she can help those people who doesn’t even appreciate her help, just took advantage of her gifts and even gets angry if she’s the one who needed their help, gossiped about her and backstab her when she’s not listening. Thick faces, I hate them all, and I hate hating them all. I felt so bad about that fact, it felt like it’s me, but not me because that’s not my doing.. I just felt really bad.. like really really bad.. I have deeply and completely accepted myself, I have deeply and completely accepted myself, I have deeply and completely accepted myself (3x).

Even though, I feel like my brother is being bullied by my cousins on the mother side for being such a good liar, and I felt so bad on his behalf, there’s nothing I can do, afterall it’s none of my business. It just felt so crazy within. I felt so bullied and put to shame by my cousins on the mother side as a sister to that person. I hated that so much that they have to interfere all the time. This cousin who act like he knew everything when in fact he’s just making up bad thoughts about us. It sucks to hear each of their voices, when all of them gossiped someone from either their bloodline or other people, and then fights right after.. I felt so bad, I hated it I couldn’t interfere, after all, they’re none of my business. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself (3x).

Even though, I feel like being gossiped as a daughter and a sister of imperfect people, committing adulteries, Iiars, ill wishers, and it felt so bad, like super bad, bad as bad as hell, specially when it repeats inside my head, it’s so gross, geez I felt so angry of myself, why on earth am I part of that bloodline, I felt so ashamed of where I came from and so ashamed of myself.. I just couldn’t change history and I am so stucked. I felt so bad, I want to release it but just couldn’t.. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself (3x).

Even though I feel like being bullshitted and charged by those people, hated, disrespected, angered, gossiped, pittied, misunderstood by 1, 2, 3, 4-10 men in my early 20’s, and it sucks, I feel so bad within, so angry, so misunderstand, feeling so ugly, so desperate, feeling crazy like super crazy, feeling so down, I felt so looked down, and it felt so disgusting, I don’t even know how to fight them.. And I felt so depressed, angry, anxious, threatened, geez, I felt so toyed, played, not taken seriously, it felt so disappointing, the pattern wouldn’t even stop that easy, like it sucks how every relationship I had has to be like that, over and over again.. I didn’t know what to change, I just didn’t know.. I felt so frustrated like an angry dog.. Full of fear to share to the world, to release my truth.. Because of fear of being put to shame and gossiped about like they care.. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself (3x).

Even though I feel like being assholed and looked evily by others, and I felt so angry about myself, like I must keep it a secret or else they’re going to look down on me, which they already have without even knowing the whole story yet.. I just couldn’t believe I was like that.. I am so annoyed and frustrated, I feel like I can’t get away from this bulshit story and I felt so bad, so stuck and just feeling bullshitted all the time.. I am so afraid of gossips, but I feel like I am already gossiped as if I am some kind of a celebrity, hell they didn’t even knew me yet. I felt so sad about myself, simply because I kept my shit true feelings within me, shut off the world and thought I was already free, oops! Still stuck there! I hated it so much that I was hiding in the dark like a crazy monster.. Fear, I felt so scared of it. It’s like a threat and a poison to me.. It felt so bad to be afraid.. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now(3x).

Even though I feel like being looked down, poorly, disrespected by many, both men and women by the way, my egos touched and I beat myself for being treated lowly. It hurts the hell out of me. My self esteem was being hurt and dragged down by some ill wishers, and I sound so ugly, not good enough, and undeserving because of that, I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself (3x).

Even though I feel like being witched by black magicians living nearby, people who are jealoused about me for my skills and my abilities, my successes and all there is for me, char. Angered by the losers, cursed by the traitors. Rejected by many, all shame on me, I felt so angry of me, so mean like crazy, super crazy, specially when I hear people who kept on complaining, I have deeply and completely accepted myself, I have deeply and completely accepted myself.

Even though I felt charged of something I am not, put to guilt for something I didn’t do, and it’s so scary. I developed so much anxiety, panic attacks, fight and flight mood, it was like the worst experience ever, like watching a horror movie, it’s not true but it felt so real, oh I must grow up already. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself.

Even though I often felt misunderstood by many because of my silence and lack of confidence for being bad, kill joy, etc., and I often gets angry about myself for being such a loser, suffering in silence, threatened of being bullied and laughed at, I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

Even though I got so emotional when someone called me a robot, merciless, unclean, idiot, useless, a devil, a terrible listener, and it’s very hard to accept myself because if I would I feel like I am useless and incompetent for being so easy on me, I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

Even though I feel like I am a member of a family who curses their own family members by team and acts like it’s nothing, it sounds so gross to me who grew up in a religious community, and I felt so disrespected, like I always do, I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

Even though, evil thoughts comes to me and tell me in front of my face how they desliked me and how bad they think I am to them, I have deeply and completely accepted myself.

Even though evil thoughts cast bad words and bad spells and intentionally having me overheard it, I have deeply and completely accepted myself.

Even though how much I wanted to get rid of every single one of those who talk bad behind my back, I still have mercy over them, and stop shit from happening, I felt so bad about me, fights keeps going on and on behind me and it sucks, it’s stuck in my head I couldn’t get rid of I, I have deeply and completely accepted myself now. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

Even though adult people in the other side of my bloodlines, boast around their childrens and their successes in front of me, while looking down where I came from and how better they are compared to me, and I always feel like unrecognized, I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

Even though sometimes I feel like being taken advantaged by men, for my kindness and my knowledge, without being thank for it, instead hated for knowing a lot, I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

Even though I feel so angry of myself because I can’t get rid of bad witches surrounding me. Feeling so insecure from men, specially this cousin who’s always being protected and always my mothers favorite, and I felt so rejected, unloved, no one is protecting me from them, she always puts me to danger, I grew up having to protect myself, and I am so angry of her, wherever she is I just felt so much anger, she wasn’t a mother to me, I felt so ashamed of myself, she was a bad influence to me, like super bad.. I felt so scared of karma, but it’s the truth, she never defended me even once. I was always wrong in her eyes, and I felt so embarrassed.. It felt like I have the worst mother in the entire universe, maybe she just doesn’t want fighting.. I felt so unsupported, I act like they care but they really don’t. They have an eye in looking down to people, good at searching for something wrong.. I felt so angry, and yet I felt so guilty I felt that way, just because they’re my parents, and we were taught to obey our parents, of course I still did, after all they gave me food, dress me up on their own terms, put me to school, give me allowances, and many more.. Ah they did good things to me too, I just didn’t like that one idea, that I felt so unsupportive, fighting my own fight, and I always appear wrong in their eyes, it sucks! And I felt so bad, like super super bad about this. They’re just not perfect.. So yeah, I guess this is just me too.. good at searching for bad stuffs they made just to make me angry.. I am too smart for this.. Too smart to make me feel guilty, insecure, etc. etc. I have deeply and completely accepted myself now. I have deeply and completely accepted myself. I have deeply and completely accepted myself.

Even though I always feel like being disrespected by many, I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

Even though others think I do not exist, I have deeply and completely accepted myself now.

*** I applied the tapping solution technique in this post.

*** If you wish to learn more about this healing technique, please do check this book.

Lesson learned:

Always feel good, it’s better to be called crazy and an idiot feeling good, than feeling bad and being called the same..

Always feel good and you will become the happiest, with or without problems.. at least, you’re not bitter, you know you can handle it, so you will have the courage to keep moving forward and try something else, something new!