Dealing with Toxicities

“If they can’t give you peace, give them peace. Silence is a best remedy, a best weapon to your enemies. You shall surely win! πŸ˜‰”

I had been negatively self talking and fighting against my own negative thoughts about others negative thoughts. I react negatively and I’m like in a mental war. Who wants to express it anyway, we don’t want trouble anyway.

Well, thank goodness I can write it down. I know for sure that I am not alone, there are more people out there who are like me, “A mutant πŸ˜‚” just kidding. I mean, crazy as it sounds but it’s really craziness when you mentally fight a recording from your subconscious that’s no longer real.

I often a victim of falling into a mind trap, it’s stupidity but it just came in naturallyπŸ˜‚. Like talent it’s inborn πŸ˜‚. It’s so funny, I’m really laughing from this truth. I know it’s weird, but that’s okay, my friends call me “Weird” anyway for having my own world, do I? πŸ˜… Mental world yeah πŸ˜›.

I just hate gossips and negativities, fights everywhere. Because those conversations, those toxicities stays within my brain and it keeps on playing. How to stop it? Oh well, here’s my automatic response, I fight it, like you know, fighting a ghost that doesn’t even exist, blindfolded, you think it really existed but it did not. #Stupidity

Anyways, time for Me time. This is the reason why I choose to be alone in my room and do things on my own, to detach myself from negativities. Although, we can’t really avoid it. It’s really weakening me, like geez how can I stop these recordings, it’s already in my brain, it can’t come out so easily.

I know it’s none of my business, but hey dude, I’m human too, like you know, has her own negative opinions, and no matter how I am really trying hard to shut it off, I ended up shutting myself off, resulting to.. you know system down 😭. I’m totally aware of that, I have to do breathing exercises but sometimes it just won’t work.

Sometimes, you just have to wait until it passes and let bad things happen because you just can’t control it anymore, like a drunk that’s not really drunk πŸ˜‚. Take all the consequences and just let go, “What else can I do?” When my crazy fighting self kicks in, it’s too hard to stop it, I’ll end up feeling stopped too. I guess because she has to express what needs to be expressed.

So me, I must chill, I know right? Worries? Anxieties as a consequence, oh no I can’t blame her, but I can only help her correct her mistakes and be supportive. It will pass. I feel like married to my self πŸ˜‚. Oh this girl thing really sucks and it’s really funny when she’s done. At last! I can function better.

This self, I have to always isolate her from toxicities because she’s so easily get irritated, a little OC and.. oh well, not a little, she criticized but I am not allowing it to come out because it’s so bad. As much as possible, we find ways to express it the right way without making a bad history πŸ˜‚.

Yoga helped her, although she’s a little lazy too. But cleaning up makes her so relaxed. Awesome right? Now I have a cleaner, I just have to let her do what simple things she wants to do. I am like dealing with a special child within πŸ˜‚. When your brain is adulting and your emotional self isn’t, it’s really a challenge. I remember, it’s called mentally challenged person, oh count me in? But this is not too often, only when it gets triggered.

I’ll go get a some therapist but I can still handle myself, maybe later? 😜 When you want to cry but you can’t because you don’t want to show weakness, ego thing work against the troubled person. I needed rest and church help me rest.

All I needed is a long long silence, so I am not Facebooking anymore. I have been so into Facebook the past months that I am no longer reading my books, reading craps on facebook that’s not really helping me grow my value, skills etc. I feel so unproductive, nah even at work. I must do something.

It’s time for me to quiet my monster within and take back my own peace. If I can’t turn off these negative thoughts and it’s not giving me peace then I’ll have to give it peace.

Social media diet, starting now. Time to focus to something self empowering. To trust in myself and not depend so much into others opinions. They say, if you’re not going to work on your dreams, others will take you to work on theirs.

I’ll do it myself. Tomorrow is another day and I am heading to that tea shop I want to try, to chill and read something useful to me and my well being.

I hope you’ll do the same too! ☺️✌️

Oh, just a quick update, I went to that place 😁, I went alone, so empowering.. Wait, let me get you the link- you might as well try their delicacies.. Click here! 😊

Published by irose

Hi! I'm Roselyn! Username: irose PayPal I'm a dreamer, bound to face all my fears, traumas, etc. I have been through shit, running away from my bliss. But I guess, I've had enough that I want to just be myself. *My mother dreamt of something great; I think I am doing it, this time!β›„

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