Dealing with Toxicities

“If they can’t give you peace, give them peace. Silence is a best remedy, a best weapon to your enemies. You shall surely win! πŸ˜‰”

I had been negatively self talking and fighting against my own negative thoughts about others negative thoughts. I react negatively and I’m like in a mental war. Who wants to express it anyway, we don’t want trouble anyway.

Well, thank goodness I can write it down. I know for sure that I am not alone, there are more people out there who are like me, “A mutant πŸ˜‚” just kidding. I mean, crazy as it sounds but it’s really craziness when you mentally fight a recording from your subconscious that’s no longer real.

I often a victim of falling into a mind trap, it’s stupidity but it just came in naturallyπŸ˜‚. Like talent it’s inborn πŸ˜‚. It’s so funny, I’m really laughing from this truth. I know it’s weird, but that’s okay, my friends call me “Weird” anyway for having my own world, do I? πŸ˜… Mental world yeah πŸ˜›.

I just hate gossips and negativities, fights everywhere. Because those conversations, those toxicities stays within my brain and it keeps on playing. How to stop it? Oh well, here’s my automatic response, I fight it, like you know, fighting a ghost that doesn’t even exist, blindfolded, you think it really existed but it did not. #Stupidity

Anyways, time for Me time. This is the reason why I choose to be alone in my room and do things on my own, to detach myself from negativities. Although, we can’t really avoid it. It’s really weakening me, like geez how can I stop these recordings, it’s already in my brain, it can’t come out so easily.

I know it’s none of my business, but hey dude, I’m human too, like you know, has her own negative opinions, and no matter how I am really trying hard to shut it off, I ended up shutting myself off, resulting to.. you know system down 😭. I’m totally aware of that, I have to do breathing exercises but sometimes it just won’t work.

Sometimes, you just have to wait until it passes and let bad things happen because you just can’t control it anymore, like a drunk that’s not really drunk πŸ˜‚. Take all the consequences and just let go, “What else can I do?” When my crazy fighting self kicks in, it’s too hard to stop it, I’ll end up feeling stopped too. I guess because she has to express what needs to be expressed.

So me, I must chill, I know right? Worries? Anxieties as a consequence, oh no I can’t blame her, but I can only help her correct her mistakes and be supportive. It will pass. I feel like married to my self πŸ˜‚. Oh this girl thing really sucks and it’s really funny when she’s done. At last! I can function better.

This self, I have to always isolate her from toxicities because she’s so easily get irritated, a little OC and.. oh well, not a little, she criticized but I am not allowing it to come out because it’s so bad. As much as possible, we find ways to express it the right way without making a bad history πŸ˜‚.

Yoga helped her, although she’s a little lazy too. But cleaning up makes her so relaxed. Awesome right? Now I have a cleaner, I just have to let her do what simple things she wants to do. I am like dealing with a special child within πŸ˜‚. When your brain is adulting and your emotional self isn’t, it’s really a challenge. I remember, it’s called mentally challenged person, oh count me in? But this is not too often, only when it gets triggered.

I’ll go get a some therapist but I can still handle myself, maybe later? 😜 When you want to cry but you can’t because you don’t want to show weakness, ego thing work against the troubled person. I needed rest and church help me rest.

All I needed is a long long silence, so I am not Facebooking anymore. I have been so into Facebook the past months that I am no longer reading my books, reading craps on facebook that’s not really helping me grow my value, skills etc. I feel so unproductive, nah even at work. I must do something.

It’s time for me to quiet my monster within and take back my own peace. If I can’t turn off these negative thoughts and it’s not giving me peace then I’ll have to give it peace.

Social media diet, starting now. Time to focus to something self empowering. To trust in myself and not depend so much into others opinions. They say, if you’re not going to work on your dreams, others will take you to work on theirs.

I’ll do it myself. Tomorrow is another day and I am heading to that tea shop I want to try, to chill and read something useful to me and my well being.

I hope you’ll do the same too! ☺️✌️

Oh, just a quick update, I went to that place 😁, I went alone, so empowering.. Wait, let me get you the link- you might as well try their delicacies.. Click here! 😊

Published by Pinky Rose

Hi My Name is Roselyn and I am a Graduate in Business Administration Major in Management Accounting. I wanted to pursue a degree related to Property Management. The Mother side of the family have Nurses and I want to become a Doctor in Psychology. They're soldiers too! I applied for PAF but wasn't allowed to take the exam because of my Myopia. The father side are into Politics and Farming, I could have taken Political Science or Agriculture, but my choice goes to Accountancy because it sounds so cool and it has a board exam (a requirement to be a Scholar). There are also teachers on my father side. My father is a good farmer, I love his plants. I hope I can offer him something very important. He stopped schooling, he choose to help his parents at the farm and have me instead. My Mother was emotional and stopped schooling too. Later on, she had me then my brother; until she became emotional again and stopped being our mother (It's a shame) πŸ˜… Me? I am always blessed and loved by the Universe and the Earthlings, they saw my potential and eagerness to learn new things. I choose to stay and share my knowledge. I wanted to become someone with a different attitude towards life; I'd rather not give than give out of pity; so if I'll give you something, it means you deserve it, not out of bias; I also want to be treated the same, win or lose I'll feel better, as long as it is righteous. Losing/failing will help me change and do the right thing; all of these makes life a funny adventure. I am also into writing because I have plenty of ideas. I hope to earn a PHD; research papers are quite interesting; I will really have fun! I am into dancing, just for fun; Dancing is so funny specially if you can't get the steps then getting it right after, it doesn't bore. Singing is my natural born talent but I'm just kidding, maybe not πŸ˜ƒ just manifesting it. I have a book at Amazon KDP :; written mostly to thank those who have helped me grow spiritually. I finished my Caregiving Training from Feb 2019 to Jan 2020; then became a certified career since 2021. I am working on my personal development business, to pursue my passion with a purpose to help the world heal emotionally. I am becoming successful in this kind of business and I claimed it, because I want to manifest it. Char - It will start with me 😊. I am a team player, I want to have fun. I am kindhearted and beautiful inside and out but don't get me wrong, it depends on the person I'm dealing with, I can be rude too like super rude! Taking advantage of me is big no no. You'll get what you deserve later on. I am a goal-oriented person, passionate in writing and sharing the right way. I am in love in all new things specially with JK's personality; he made me laugh out loud, it's so healing. My academic side isn't that bad but also not too good because I still have a lot of knowledge to learn. My friend advised me to exaggerate little achievements though to help me attract more of it. I have a good voice and a good sense of humor if I choose to let it all out. I am passionate and compassionate. I practice an attitude of gratitude. I prefer to be alone than be surrounded by bad influential people, but I am keeping my heart open for the good guys too. I am receiving support from the Angelic Beings and a future husband that communicates with me telepathically; I'm not sure if I have met him already, all I know is that, he can guide me well. Whenever I am out of my mind and feeling like in danger, he takes over; I may or may not recognize him personally but it doesn't matter, I think he can but I have trust issues so it's normal to not meet him sooner and it's also normal to not recognize him, I guess he already knew. I have an eye in music and arts and love to cook for me. If you believe you will be healed if you'll ask me to heal you intuitively then you will, but it was you that heals you, not me. πŸ˜‚ No just kidding. I can dance and laugh. I am treasuring happy memories. I welcome new experiences. I'm excited with first time events I can travel, take pictures of me with my coalleagues. I can contribute and be of service. I like Song Joongkis movies 😁 he's such a good actor, I have watched most of his movies, but all of his movies in Netflix. But above all, I really love Photography! It's beautiful and exciting to look for good angles. It's a great brain exercise to look at better things in life. ❀ Welcome to my Blog! You're allowed to share your thoughts in the comment sections. Also, please follow and share if you like my artwork. It will help me notice that we share the same values or you can keep thus page for your self 😁

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