We all agree that if there’s no pain, there’s no gain; but what if that pain rooted from childhood abuses by the parents; or death of your lovely pets.. like my first dog died when I was around four, and I felt so sad.
I like pets and animals and I am so attached to them, so whenever they died, I just felt so sad like a part of me is also dead, or when a pet is dying I also felt like dying, it’s so sad and so painful.
The painful death of my white horse 😭 when I was around only 1-6 yrs younger, was so sudden. She was very kind to me and my parents would just leave me to her. She just knew where to go and when there’s a need to choose a direction she will stop and just wait for me to direct her to the place I choose for us to go.
It felt so sad that she died. The red horse followed, and now, my cat kept on giving birth and these kittens kept on dying, like they never grow older. My dogs also, they were all so close to me and they just died.. It’s so painful like I’m always grieving since childhood.
Eight years ago, someone cut the moringga tree at the back of our house, I was very sad. Around 10 years ago, they cut the coconut tree in front of our house. I was very sad. I hated them all for taking the lovely things I really love being surrounded with.
Those pets and those animals and trees were better than the people who cut them. Sometimes, I just hate humans 😭 but I am human too. It’s so sad when there’s nothing else you can do, you can’t be responsible coz you can’t own it, because those trees wasn’t mine anyway. And those pets and animals that died wasn’t mine too. It belonged to them. I must own one like really and do what is right.
All these painful deaths I am suffering with is making me sad; but I am trying to ease the pain. My CG teacher advised me to think happy thoughts while I was suffering from the pain I felt after being injected when a mineral water in my deltoid. But when you’re in pain, it’s not easy to think of the happy thoughts, you’ll end up doubting those thoughts.
But it really worked. I told a friend about a friend I met at the airport who knew me even if it’s my first time to actually see him in person. I was surprised and I almost couldn’t believe how he straightened me up and directed my attention to that moment I was with him. Anyways, she just reminded me about it and “I started laughing”. It was crazy! 🤪 So unbelievable and I found it hilarious. Since then, I felt so independent like I can stand on my own, like I am finally free to be me.
I think it really helped me laugh at the truth. Honest and truth is actually hilarious. Being honest with what actually happened, how you messed up and how you kept it hidden, then you were caught. Damn, 🤪 you’re a badass. I don’t know what triggers your laughter, but mine is when someone or me telling what truly happened while laughingly sharing it like “Gosh, it happened! ” 😲