Yesterday was a bliss! I am officially a God Mother. I am so happy that I got invited. Met old and new acquaintances both from school and work. It was an awesome gathering! Thank you family!
Now I have a child to sponsor during Christmas, birthdays and special gatherings. It’s an opportunity to practice my gift to give. Sometimes, you just have to have a good reason and a strong WHY to use your Gift and claim the things that are meant for you.
A good mindset and a good purpose in life, a goal to achieve, a community to help, a personal goal to accomplish, self to build and a self to develop and change. A new life and a new journey to take. It’s my first time and it was awesome. I am so blessed.
I used to be so not caring at all. Careless of what the future holds. No plans, just one goal, to finish school. After I’m out of college, I started getting a job without a purpose and a plan. I never thought of giving back because I decided to figure out the world first and my purpose. It took years to really figure out where I’m heading next and what I would like to become.
The first time I had a job, I had to stop because I wasn’t living a life. Not giving back, just work and work and getting to know the wrong people not treasuring the people that I already have in life. There’s this drive to always come out of the pack because it just didn’t felt right. But along the way, I met people I can trust with. Good-hearted and worth my time and friendship. They are the once that stayed.
I have so much to be thankful for. From the people I looked up to, to the people who saw my potential, trusted me and lifted me up to keep going because “I can do it!” People who have never stopped inspiring me and showing me the best I can be. I am so blessed to have met those amazing people who are there for me, who did not look at me differently and made me feel like “I belong”.
But why the heck am I still looking back at the people who have belittled me, looked down on me, and made me feel so inferior, rejected and unwelcomed, keeping me feel insecured and less of all kind. Why do they still exist in my mind when they’re no longer helping. I believe I hold grudges that needs to be released and forgiven. Yet, I am scared of losing them because “I am scared of being in a new world” where those people are powerless over me. But why do I still care about them when they’re all these people who put me in so much insecurities, fear and self-doubt. I guess I’ll just have to accept this bad habit of getting back to people who have disrespected me, disowned me and made me feel useless and unworthy of their love and attention.
Even though I cannot make them appreciate me, I can surrender anyway and move on with the right people who have already appreciated me even if I did nothing but be myself. Life becomes easy if you relax and stop forcing the wrong people to accept you. So I decided to just move on and let them be themselves. To ignore what I have seen and move on with my life. After all, it’s none of my business. Besides, I have a life to create. Wasting my time fixing the unfixable is stupidity.
I am gifted to give and shall use my gifts for the good of all. To forgive the old ways and move on without fear. To let go without fear. To become successful without fear and to travel without fear. Life is an adventure. It must be travelled. The gossipers won’t stop gossiping, so I will not stop making myself better.