Refocusing: Doing things right

It’s better to be reprimanded for doing the right thing than suffer from guilt and resentment for not doing what is right; it’s the worst self torture in the whole world.

I may not be perfect, but if I know what is right I’ll do it right. So if I’m doing it wrong, that means I needed to be educated or it’s because I wasn’t careful enough.

There are many factors affecting carelessness, but the strongest one is “Lack of focus.” Focusing takes a lot of mental power. To focus well, we have to decide to focus well, otherwise you’ll stay out of line.

If someone has emotional problems and thinking too much about other people while doing something, say for example: preparing the ingredients for cooking. That individual is out of focus, which means that that person can cut his finger or do the wrong thing.

My analysis is that: Everything happens unintentionally or intentionally. The one who’s not doing the right thing even if he/she knew what is right and she is focused is called a “Psychopath.” They chose to do it intentionally even if they knew it is wrong. Psychopaths are troublemakers. They have childhood traumas due to bad upbringings. It’s also possible that their parents are also psychopaths (Well, just based on my belief that a mango tree will not bear coconut fruits).

What causes them to decide to focus on doing things the wrong way is to release their long hidden anger that they weren’t able to do as a child because they were too scared to fight. Their bad memories, specially childhood suppressed anger are the only reasons they decided to do it the wrong way.

The Solution to a problem is not what causes the problem. Do not do it again to them or they will only remember the angst and the bad memories they had in the past. Treat them with love and care, acceptance and understanding, listen to their needs and provide them safety. Make them feel safe.

To provide safety is the number one role of a health practitioner. You have to ensure that your patients feel safe so they will not react inappropriately. Triggering their insecurities and bad memories while in your care will make it worst.

It’s true that releasing it can help if it’s done the right way (like relaxation, yoga, mild activities etc. Interactive counseling, sharing and having fun with what happened in the past whether it’s right or wrong; acknowledging the past ignorance and the wrong things that happened and how we change.)

The wrong way is the worst, only for a short period of time. The more you trigger it, the more they repeat it, the more it became a bad habit. A psychopath versus another psychopath will only cause destruction. The other one has to love the other instead of fight it with a psychopathic approach. If you are in the side of love and you see both psychopaths fighting, then love them both differently 😁. Well, until they’ll learn to love each other like in dramas fighting for a girl 😝 they said it’s for love, but it’s actually not; the truth is, if you fight for love, you don’t fight with someone else’s but yourself 😁. Got it? So guys fight for love, win against your self.

To win against your lower self, you must not suppressed it or she will fight back and you will become “Mentally Troubled”. You must accept her and love her unconditionally. You probably have bad upbringings too, who knows. Maybe your childhood isn’t that great too. The child selves are still within you. It’s never too late to help her recover.

I have a nice upbringing, nobody touches me because my mother was there to protect me; I’m always hiding behind her back to protect me from the bad people. The only thing I complained so much in the past is her inability to know what I needed because she’s a terrible listener. Like for example, I needed to pee but I actually mean poo, she’s not attending to it quickly, I feel so unloved and abandoned. Oh and not to mention her narcissistic personality, but I did not experience that until I was a little older.

Oh well, I was a shy child, so I lie if it sounds like poo. They didn’t like the smell and sound of it. So, it was also my fault from lying. I remember I saw a child with dad ( in fb ), they were at the toilet: he asked ” Did you poo?” “No! I didn’t poo, I peed!” Oh well, later on, they’ll know the truth anyway. There’s nothing in this world that will be kept hidden anyway, so just tell the truth in the end, but remember to acknowledge your fault and give your reasons.

They said only girls says No when she actually means YES. And when it’s a YES it actually means NO (and the reason for that is.. she was scared to say NO). I was, scared to say NO. I had no boundaries and I feel guilty of lying not just the pee that I said when I actually mean poo. And when I said NO when ask if blah blah blah, i actually mean YES.

A genius psychologist will know it and will do the right thing based on what he or she knew. Just like a good mother and father will know when their child actually wants to poo when she said pee, and will do the right thing, by providing her what she needed. As for me, I only wanted a comfort room, a right and clean place to poo where I can sit like a princess because I know it’s safe. They all failed.

Everyone needs safety, whether you are a mentally troubled person with multiple personality disorders or not; you deserve to be safe. Everyone deserves it. If one feels safe, they can tell the truth and not suffer from guilt in the long run. Even if it’s just pee versus poo. Everything starts from little things. But if you’re a genius, just do the right thing if you know what the other person mean 😁. It will save you from losing and feeling guilty from not doing the right thing.

Sometimes, the truth is not what you hear but what you know. Not what you see but what you feel. Always believe in yourself. That’s another key to win and become guilt Free in the end. Most importantly, if you can do what is right and you knew it and you believe in your self, then do it even if it’s not what you hear.

My college economics professor Mr. Wang gave me 3.0 in my Preliminary Exam and I cried for it; but I am so thankful and grateful that I learned something from him. He always says, “Look at the BIG Picture.” I studied harder and passed my Final Exam. It’s not the grade that I wanted, but I passed and learned the lesson.