Good words, when spoken with the right tone of voice becomes powerful; but if the wrong tone of voice is used, it becomes a disaster.
I am a survivor of a someone’s bad spell. My mother, my guardian, my number 1 supper and beauty critic noticed the changed in me after I have met that human.
At first, I thought, it’s because I got eliminated from my accountancy program. Later on, I noticed that there is this human being that I allowed into my life.
The darkness of their stories, sounds so bad, their insecurities, badmouthing others, it sucks! I heard my other mates complaining about how the human being was treating me, disrespecting me, etc.
I did not listen, while the human was having fun keeping me at the side. Making me feel belittled, pity on, etc. The human being made me feel in secured, disrespected, unappreciated, looked down, and a loser.
When the human being appreciates, she made it sound bad, so unsupported. It was the worst connection I ever have. I did not have the power to stay away from them because they made me feel bad for being a loner, which used to be my heaven.
The human being always sounds bad. It was the worst influence of my life; 2nd I believe, since I had one in my childhood too. These two, keeps repeating. When meeting a guy or anyone I get close to, this guy becomes just like the guy I first knew. When meeting a woman, when gets close to me, they started becoming the first woman I have met.
I was always with them, but I am not noticed, they ended up, always choosing the other. I am always the one caring, and ended up the one hurting, coz I forgot I also need to care about my emotional health.
Wait, these two? They were brothers and sisters. And these types of people, I kept on attracting growing up. I kept my anger within me, asking myself “What is wrong with me?” “Why I always end up, alone?” “Why do I care too much, that I set aside my own needs?” Nobody fights for my right.
It is disappointing that the very people who are supposed to be doing the job, protecting me are the once who initiated my own dilemma. Ah, and by the way, I kept on attracting same people. Until, I decided to show them how to take care of me, by loving myself first.
Oh, I got out from those patterns, I can still see them, around me, trying to repeat the past, but this time I got ahead of them coz I learned my lessons already. I know what I could have done, before it will happen. I know how to tune in to the right sound when thinking good about me.
Most importantly, I made new friends. I am showing the best in me, and break free from their manipulation. Although, I still care but not too much! I mean, I can live without them, and if they can’t, it is none of my business.