“Saying sorry is an old thing; we can always say sorry and will still do the same mistake again; but thanking is seeing the lesson and forgiving yourself for the trespasses you have done.”
I realized that karma is real. Now I can see myself in others shoes, so I can understand why a certain person did exactly what you did before. It’s like a mirror or shall we say a shadow of your self. Although there are other scenarios that I haven’t done as far as I have remembered, it is possible that I did it through my ancestors. We call it Family Karma.
Because we can’t be so sure who are they in the past and what they’ve done; how do they react to their karmic counterparts and how did they handle such BS; I mean, I can feel that guilt that I haven’t done. It’s unfair to be guilty of something you didn’t do but you feel it was you who really did it.
Crazy right? Denial is my normal reaction to karmic situation but if I am free to be myself, I’ll just forgive myself even if I didn’t do anything. Maybe I got it from movies, whatsoever, crazy thoughts that came out from nowhere which aren’t really true. There’s no other way to correct this never ending confusion but to forgive yourself silently.
By forgiving that old self that you haven’t met, you are releasing the current people that’s acting on your behalf. They’ll be gone like Neo’s mirror in the matrix? There’s no such thing as other people, what you can see, feel, conceive, everything is you. I know it’s quite unbelievable and unacceptable specially if you see only Negativities. You can’t just say that that’s me, well in the past you may have been them; but there are also new people who doesn’t act like your karma, they are highly conscious beings who decides what would they react and how would they feel. Those are extraordinary human beings, I am so proud of them. They are the enlightened.
To fully forgive ourselves from the very beginning of time that we have committed such trespasses that’s unknown to us but sounds familiar is a perfect sign of self acceptance for me. When you’re in control with your emotions, you’re fully aware that you’re dealing with your old self and that fighting is not going to end it. Fighting the other is just fighting yourself within. Of course we all knew it specially when we get so emotional but it’s hard to put it into practice.
Remember this whenever you feel frustrated and so angry of yourself because someone showed you your worst self through them or you they reminded you of someone you’re not that you hated; remember to forgive yourself; remember to look at the other side of the coin. Remember to show your better self to someone who deserves it.
Showing our better self to someone is a choice, it’s not easy; nothing’s easy in doing the right thing. Pressure is normal and it helps us grow. Relax, that’s how we must handle pressure, just forgive yourself. Listen to the priest. Attend a sunday mass and be there fully.