I was scheduled to visit a colleague’s town on Feb. 1/Scheduled to run a 42km marathon on Feb. 2/later on I got notified that the marathon will start on Feb. 1, 11 PM/so I was undecided whether to go on that trip as scheduled, sleep and join the marathon at night.
I decided late not to join the full marathon because I am not ready for it yet. Besides, I have no partner and it will be dangerous to go alone with strangers who are for sure well trained. I also did not plan of doing full marathon yet, there’s just no slots left for 21km nor 32km, but I did not regret paying for it because the payment goes to the foundation.
“It’s cool to have their shirt though/it’s a nice collection. I did not run for it yet, but one day I will; soon as I’m ready.”
Seems like, my life follows a pattern; letting go of something I’m not prepared for. It’s like spending time and money for something I will have to let go in the end, without regrets because I still contributes, I just did not force something I cannot commit. I will surrender now, than do it later/but that doesn’t mean I will not try again next time, I just need to be mentally/physically/emotionally, prepared for it. Knowing your limits really saves time. Others will push you because they don’t know you; you know yourself better than anyone else, but be thankful and grateful anyway.
Always be open for change. I was hoping that maybe I can still attend if I will be home early, but I was not. No regrets, nothing. I am thankful and grateful, as always. The plan to visit a colleague’s town was also canceled because we cannot come up with a plan/there is no connection/I wanted something mountainous/I wanted to go on a roadtrip/I wanted something else and the other wanted something else, haha.
I pursued my heart’s desire by going to that place I really2x wanted to go/doing what truly makes me happy, solo, road trip, watching the sun sets, stargazing, etc. I had a lot of fun trying something new, a route I have not tried before. It felt like a part of me have been heard and that route awakened my stagnant energy. I felt so relieved, and then I realized I have always wanted to visit West 35, I just couldn’t find the courage to do it alone. So when I finally did, I was very happy!
Everything happens for a reason, if you won’t force anything that’s not yet meant to be, you will fall into the right places/things/person/work/etc. I have proven this many times already. When you learn to say no and accept what’s not meant to be you will have the courage to do the things you know it’s meant to be now, you’re just scared to do it alone. Do it now but keep your heart and mind open for anything to happen in the future.
Truth can be painful but if you won’t be honest about yourself, then you can’t be helped. Pretending to be okay when you’re not is a quick escape but it won’t fix it. You cannot move on if you close your doors for acceptance/feeling the pain, the anger, the frustration, the depression, the shame, etc. If you keep on running away from pain, you will never grow stronger. Facing that pain is the only way to move on from your traumas and be free from it. Hurting others to make you feel better is going to make it worse.
So, reflect now and start writing down what you really really want to happen. There’s a lot of suggestions in the world, but if there’s one person who knows you best, it is You. Trust yourself and the process. Remember not to force things that’s not meant for you, listen to yourself instead of others, do what makes you happy.
Because of that, I will buy the best tent that I really really wanted to buy and then be back to camp at West 35! See you, there! For now, watch my photos! Exactly as I wanted it to be! By the way, I took the other route going to West 35 and it took me 5 hours to get there hahahaha but I had so much fun watching the scenery (more time for myself). I finally visited Toledo, City! It would be amazing if I stopped by. I’ll do it again next time but I will start traveling in the morning to have more time in Toledo!
West 35!
See you! 🙏🏝️
Climbing, Rocks! 