Doing it alone or doing it Solo; or doing it with someone else; the result is still up to you. In the end you’d say, “It was me, with help or without; doing it solo or doing it with acquaintances, it was still me; in failures and in successes, still me..” “It was always been me and I’m proud of me.”
“I was scared I wouldn’t make it if I’d do it alone.” That was my greatest fear back then. I did not trust me as much as I do now.” Luckily, I’ve met really good friends and we’ve made it to graduation day, travelled together, and support each other’s life choices ; accepting our mistakes and learning from them.
I knew they’re my real friends because even without telling them who exactly I was, what I feel, why I act a certain way, etc.; they still knew me as I am in front of them. No judgments, they chose to understand, they chose to do the right things; not only in words but with their actions. They even understands whenever I’m sleepy 🥱.
Real friends protects your privacy, and do not gossip in your presence or behind your back; Neither do they run to you for money or simply because they needed you to fill in the spot just to lessen the the expenses. Neither do they made you feel bad for being you. Real friendships doesn’t take overnight but years; built with care, respect and understanding.
I’ve made real sisters out of group of colleges friends and I’ve even made a mother. Now I am a proud Godmother of their childrens. I may not be ready to get into their world yet, rest assured I’m always ready to be a responsible TITA’s to all of them.
Family isn’t just about bloodlines, it’s about real friendships too. Hadn’t I had the courage to study in Cebu, I wouldn’t have met them. Thanks to my mother who invested in my education despite of her own personal issues and emotional struggles; with my little tricks.
Maybe it was hard for me but it was much harder for her. Dealing with her fears, insecurities plus my unpredictable personality that changes overtime; it must be tough. She simply did not ask the right questions and I simply did not know myself well.
Scared of telling what I really want because of my preconceived thoughts that she cannot help as she was a terrible listener and already have thoughts in mind before me; a judgmental little thing . She’s not doing what I want, so how can she understand why I’m doing it? So no point of telling.
Spending time getting to know me by trying new things not only improved my resiliency, it also helped me discover myself. I actually like marathons, playing ball games, mind games, travelling solo, investing, being neighbors with my best friends. Having my own house to take responsibility of my brother and mother, etc.
Exploring, failing, being honest with how I feel, doing things solo, taking responsibility of my happiness and my goals, making things right for my wrong choices which causes delays, facing my fears, embarrassments and Pains. It’s a long long journey for me, yet I have slowly broken free from my own old patterns silently.
Old ways no longer works, and everything changes because I’ve decided to take that leap of faith. Change, new Goals, anything new; it’s all uncertain, there is no guarantee. However, if you keep going and believing, change can change you positively.
“It’s Always Been You.”
Time for change of thoughts; Your Choice, No Buts!
Inspiration: I unintentionally made a mistake, I pushed my lockers padlock hard and did not hit the right hole; it slipped and the password changed. I realized it changed after trying to open it again using my old password, it didn’t work anymore. That push changed the pass and I unintentionally did not take a peak of the new pass, because I forgot that’s how you change pass.
The old is gone , the new one is here. I bought the same kind of padlock, with new password. It’s not bad to have something new. I guess things broke in order to be replaced. Things gets lost so you can buy new ones. New things comes after a good change.
