The Choices We’ve Made

IN A BUS Going South

Last Sunday, while sitting on a bus, a lady invited me to eat with her.

I politely said no and kept on reading the book I recently bought.

Hours later, she fell asleep. I am still reading and I kept on turning the pages.

She woke up while we ask the driver’s assistant to drop us off to Mantalongon road in Cebu.

We thought we’re already there but she butted in. She said, “We’re not yet there”. She then shared, “I’m also heading to your destination.”

“Where are you from?” She asked. I said from LLC. Then she added, “I worked there just across the Tamiya.” How about you?

I shared mine, she nodded. She said, she’s going to visit his son and we’ll be back to the city in the evening.

She asked, “How old are you?” I answered my age. “No sons or daughters?”, “Not yet” I replied.

I said, “There’s a lot of population in the world right now and I am just happy being free to roam around, living a single life.”

She got a little emotional that she shared, “I was busy at college, got a job and still nobody asked me out,” then I continued, “So you initiated it?”

“Yes” I was right. “I did the same.” That moment, we’re on the same page.

She shared, “It only lasted for two years, there was no real connection but I have a son, and I’m happy with him.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Atleast you’ll have someone to love, to care, to return to.”

My colleague brought his son, so I also shared that you’re not alone. The woman sitting in front of us and his son are the best companions.

Hers is also a boy. As we get off the bus, we went separate ways.

SELF REFLECTION

I wasn’t alone. I recently felt bad because I shared so much of me with acquaintances and the Virgins couldn’t understand.

I personally felt down a little. I felt like they were against me and not empathizing. So it was indeed the wrong people I’ve shared with.

The lady in the bus and the other one empathizes with me. They can relate because we shared the same reasons why we decided to do a certain thing.

Night before my adventure, my mind juggles from the negative feedback coming from the people who lacks understanding.

I understand their ignorance but that triggers my old pains. It was healing though. I made the wrong choice, we made the wrong choices by being impatient but it gives us the what we needed in life, A life companion.

Childrens are the best companions, in this lonely world. When I heard people’s stories like mine, my mother, my friends and the lady; I want to be more compassionate.

But you know what’s the main reason why we made the choice? It’s because we felt alone, we want companionship, we want to love.

The Story of the lady in the BUS resonated with me. The struggles she went through, I have also gone through. No one to share with, afraid of the world, stucked in a toxic relationship that lasted for only 1-2 yrs.

The initiation wa due to loneliness. We look for meaning in everything that we do. What is wealth for, if we’re alone. Why are we doing what we’re doing?

We searched for someone who can understand us, accept us, love us, and most importantly supports us emotionally.

If we have to turn back time, the lessons there would be, “to be patient”, “to allow others into our lives” and most importantly “to love ourselves.”

We closed doors to others because we want something else. We stopped living in the present and acted like we were in the future.

Our lifestyle, the jobs we have, the roles we take on, the limits they set before us was overwhelming for someone coming out from college.

We felt out of control and not really finding the purpose and the reason why we have to do the things, why we have to follow the rules.

It was searching for life, meaning, and purpose. They found theirs, the childrens. I found mine, my pets. But what we found can also be found in nature and within me.

Soon as I’m out from that relationship, I learned how to reconnect with my child within. Healing my wounds and being with her when she’s being bullied, misunderstood and judged.

The one I’m looking for is within me all along. The one I’m searching is searching for me but the only difference now is that in the past I searched it outside of me.

I am one with me. I am whole. I am complete. I am accepted. I am never been separated, only the mind does. I just need to acknowledge myself and accept her the way she is.

What about you? Do you have stories like these. Would you mind to share? Sure you can! Let it out and be heard.

Published by mina

Hi! I'm Roselyn! Username: mina PayPal (In case you wanna sponsor me πŸ˜‚ www.paypal.me/RoselynMina I have a story to tell.. Lessons to share.. Love to express.. Hate to love.. Me to show you.. 😁

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